Katie Schwartz

Katie Schwartz On Amy Guth: The Three Fallen Women by Amy Guth this was so much fun to do and I was so happy that amy thought of me! check it out! it's fantastic squared. if you haven't read opium magazine . it's so addictive. best fat free high o' the week. any week really. there are oodles of great yarns: sumptuous stories . delicious interviews . brazen reviews . and art that will take your wig off. run. read. now. opium. -- ps: if you haven't bought amy's book yet, three fallen women , buy it! read it. my copy is en route from amazon . be patient. they can be a bit slow. but, you know it's worth it, yo!

mazel tov to, Editorials from Hell's leading daily newspaper, the brimstone daily pitchfork . 4,000 uniques a day and growing!!! it's a proud, proud day when you've got hits from halliburton and hate mail from right wing fascists. left wing lovers and readers who can't get enough of your ass. the articles are fuck off amazing and hell's journalists are fearless, brilliant writers . run . read . NOW . go to hell.

oh yes, my lip loving friends, an interview with the big vagina is en route and it is is going to be cuntastic! I am dripping with joy. " your vagina. see it. love it. own it. " owned and operated by a proud, glistening and glowing V. interview coming next week...

I ate thai food and fucked my vibrator, paco. oh, please. who the fuck am I kidding. nothin' was gettin' in or gettin' out tonight. the V was, and remains on lockdown for bad behavior. she was a bad girl last night. bitch was out of control. such a snatch. oompha. sometimes a girl's gotta manage her meat and show her who's boss. boundaries, sweetie. we just don't see eye to V sometimes. it's becoming an issue. she can be a real slutty, opinionated, lippy whore and I'm tired of it! you know the yarn. it's centuries old. there's always that one boy (or girl, depending on how your lips part) who cunteen just can't say no to. mother fucker.

today, I decided to wear floods all day. but, not just floods. cuffs that were clearly terrified of touching shoe. I wanted to see how people would react. I was very disappointed. I got a few grimaces and the odd sneer, but that's it! am I that unfortunate? I was hoping for some core laughs and wicked vile comments. instead I got bupkas. sigh. I'm a blue jew. I'm on a budget this year, so I'm trying to decide what to go as for halloween. I'm torn. if I buy an afro and a rope, I can tie my kitchen clock around my neck and go as flavor flave. if I'm willing to invest in a black cabbage patch baby, I can go as madonna. but, if I add big round glasses and a leash, I can go as brad and angelina. decisions. decisions. I'm so conflicted.

if you're going to have the license plate, HYMEN, don't you think you should dress it up with a catch phrase? if you're a virgin: still intact if you're a gyno: breaking ... since 1975! if you're a creepy, 18 and up skirt chasing, cocksucking bastard: I break for... if you're driving a really nice car: was worth the break if you're religious: not to be confused with hymn if you're stupid: my baby girl's name is... if you're still stupid: I would've given him mouth to mouth, but he was choking so I did the... where is this coming from, you ask?! today, I saw the license plate, HYMEN on one of those ridiculously expensive cars and thought, if you're going to take the time to advertise HYMENS, don't you think you should give a jhush? offer some background or a snappy catch phrase?!

she has a message for us hedonists :: I hope you are able to find a few moments this week to sit in the presence of the Lord and be filled with His strength and joy :: she's so thoughtful that lisa welchel. always thinking of others. :: As you know, I’m under a crazy writing schedule these days and it probably won’t let up until December. I really appreciate your patience, understanding, and prayers. I’ll do my best to have at least a little journal entry each week. This week I thought I’d just post a little thing I wrote the other day after reflecting on an especially sweet time just worshiping the Lord :: she's loving us hard this week. it's boring don't read it. but, do hit the archives. last week's was a doozy.

Shut Up and Ban! NBC's Newfound Protection of the Public Drudge Posted Friday October 27, 2006 at 12:23 PM Matt Drudge reports that NBC, in a sudden attack of conscience, has refused to run ads for "Shut Up And Sing," the rockumentary-turned-sociopolitical-exegesis that follows the Dixie Chicks before, during and after singer Natalie Maines' infamous anti-Bush statements at a London concert in 2003. According to reports, the network stated that it "cannot accept these spots as they are disparaging to President Bush." -- you have to finish reading this article NOW -- O'Reilly's Big Lie on Letterman by: Cenk Uygur Bill O'Reilly at one point in his face off with David Letterman attempted to stump Letterman and prove Iraq had ties to terrorism by sighting Ansar al-Islam. According to O'Reilly, Ansar al-Islam was a terrorist group tied to al-Qaeda who was in Iraq before the war working with Saddam Hussein. Of course, it's a lie. -- you have ...

THURSDAY OCTOBER 26, 2006 07:20PM EST By Lisa Ingrassia ::: "Nicole Richie has decided to undergo diagnostic treatment to determine why she's not been putting on any weight," her rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. "She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition. It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder." She's tired of everyone saying you don't eat, because she does," a source close to Richie tells PEOPLE. "She wants to gain weight. It wasn't anyone saying you have to go do this, it wasn't an intervention. It was her saying I'm tired of people saying this about me, I'm going to go get some tests. It was a personal decision." ::: perhaps someone could take the time to enlighten me... what is heroin thin's aversion to just admitting that she's bulemic with an anorexic back? is this a non-jew thing? can't ...

my sister and I were strolling down the street with jewcifer yesterday and some strapping chubby stud from across the way was chatting me up about louie. he was so noshable. so, I said to my sister as we were en route to my house: now that's an entree, sweetie. succulent and delish. I'd fuck him with your pussy. to which she replied, ohhhkay. I'm uncomfortable. why can't you just use yours? so, I waved my hand across my beav and said, hi. temporarily out of commission. menses?! you can't fuck new meat with a bleedinV. we hit a boundary wall. affectionately nicknamed, girlriend time. ah, such a proud moment for katie. photo credit:: menstruating barbie

al . u know. bacon bits and midget parts . is an artist and he's selling his handmade creations. famous dead people . it's a whole line. original art . kick ass t-shirts . totes .

the full body project . photo essay. who knew spock had a hard on for the chubbettes?! it's quite beautiful actually. he's got big moxie. you go, spock!

so far this year, I cannot believe some of the offensive and racist comments that I have heard. that people have actually said TO MY face without giving it a second thought. 1: I thought your people were only allowed to eat unleavened bread? 2: do you know where I can find the best bagels in los angeles? 3: when it comes to the coloreds... 4: it's ok for lesbians to be in positions of power because they have an organic male ability to intellectualize a problem, but not straight women. they are far too emotional. 5: I don't think your parents will appreciate your brother bringing home an asian girl. 6: you were in an actual relationship with a black man? 7: middle class white people don't get std's. just gays and poor people. 8: immigrants are ruining this country. 9: I'm surprised you haven't gotten a writing job in television yet. jews run hollywood and you're a jew. 10: I would never fuck a fat chick. if I were drunk, I'd consider letting her blow me. ...

from the fabulous crionaberry 1: "thank god we can finally rid the internet of smut" list 2: "dirty jew" list 3: "fat jew" list 4: "fat" list 5: "her penis envy could lead to a sex change" list 6: "supports gay marriage. let's kill the bitch" list 7: "has compromised jesus" list 8: "hates bush" list 9: "stem cell junky" list 10: "feminist must be a man hating cunt" list

:: top 5 reasons you should never say, make love to me :: 1: it's creepy 2: how could you possibly subject the following enthusiastic, sweet adverbs, "when we", "will you", "please" and "let's", to such cruelty and call yourself a decent human being? 3: the concept of making love makes no sense to me. how can you make love? it's a noun. and, don't give me the, "but it comes after a verb" argument. you're being asked to fuck a noun. 4: the phrase, "making love" is repulsive and equally wrong on every level. 5: there are a million ways to skin a romantic pussy. I can't imagine wood rising or cunt's dripping when someone says, let's make love. one man said this to me a few years ago and I could not stop laughing. side note: my intimacy and commitment issues have no bearing on my disdain for the phrase, love making.

ah-ma-gahd-ma-bff-fahevah (note the overly dramatic juvenile pre-teen tone) crionaberry , meme'd me after stegbeetle meme'd her. see below because I meme'd YOU. I'm such an open book. I think I've spilled everything. so, if any of this sounds familiar, just skip over it. or email me and call me a repetitive bitch. :: five things you don't know about me :: 1. I'm barely 5'4. I haaaaaaaate being short. I am the shortest person in my family. I always wanted to be amazon goddess tall. 5'9 or 6'. height is sexy. I'd be thin! I could date short men and look cool. 3. I have an inappropriate obsession with floss. I will not kiss a non-flosser. I will not kiss a flesh-hound unless he's brushed and flossed. it's a freakish trait. however... I have converted many non-flossers. if you don't want to lose your teeth, floss. if you want to make out with me, floss. if you want to fuck me, floss. if you want any sexual play whatsoever, floss. I...

I think it's great that owning african babies are en vogue. though it appears madonna is going to be renting one, she's no less committed then a rightful owner. what I can't seem to get my head around is america's ability to embrace african babies and still find the time to shun black babies. the color of their skin is the same, no? if I'm not mistaken they both bleed red. I suppose it's possible african babies have a softer red hue, but the similarities should be uncanny. so, if someone could PLEASE EXPLAIN to me how it is fucking possible that we can live in a country that practices inequality, segregation and discrimination against black people yet manages to embrace african babies, I would really appreciate it. oh, and while you're at it, make a pit stop in any predominantly black neighborhood, and of course justify why it is that a predominantly black neighborhood exists in america circa 2006 in the first place. and, also explain why poverty, viole...

Our gal pal and christian soldier lw , who from this day forward will forever be named, Bcunt (bitch cunt), posted a doozy journal entry this week. forget darfur. ignore the war in iraq. fuck the homeless. don't give a second thought to the global aids crisis. screw stem cell research. bush has and look how much fun he's having! none of it matters. why? because Bcunt needs your prayers. she needs you on your knees and praying hard and fast on her behalf. and, she ain't fuckin' kidding. Lisa Whelchel Weekly Journal October 21, 2006 Choose You This Day I’m just simply overwhelmed with work that needs to be done and not enough days to get it all done. Please pray specifically as I attempt to create this Bible Study Scrapbook project that I’m writing. It is so complicated, there are so many little pieces to pull together, and the deadline is looming. I also need to write all of the scripts that I will be filming for the DVD portion of the Bible Study that we will be filming...

what part of shitty market research did thomas KUNTcade miss when he sent me his little collectible christmas light spam?! hi. jew. big fuckin jew. jewgirl jew. the jewiest of jews. with big fuckin tits. world wide web sized hips and jewergies to prove my super jeweyness. thomas KUNTcade... SUCK MY (today wannabe male) DICK!

my cunt is menstruating like it might never have another opportunity to bleed again. I need dick. can't have the dick I want. fuck men. fuck everyone. missed a call I really fucking wanted and needed to take, but my bitch ass crackwhoreberry didn't fucking ring. mother fucking cock sucking fuckity fuck fuck if I were a man today, I would tell everyone in the free world to suck my dick. just shut the fuck up and suck my dick. stop your yappin and suck my dick. before you jump off that bridge, and you really should jump off that fuckin bridge, suck my fuckin dick! I should've been born a man. but, I loooooooove being a chick. I do. I do. I do. I absolutely love being a beav. I love women. I think we are amazing. but today... today, I want a dick. just today.

I got my menses yesterday. my gash is on fire. I have womb hostage worthy cramps. I am retaining so much fucking water it's not even funny. I feel like a big fat sow. I can see my cheeks because my face is so fucking swollen. I'm bleeding like a stuck pig and drainage in los angeles sucks ass, so I should probably send out a flash flood warning. if I don't and somebody drowns, am I liable?

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I think I'm breaking up with an old friend. really old. I'm heartbroken about it. so, I clean. I listen to my favorite song, the goodbye girl. and, I clean. I can feel my brain defragmenting. not finding resolution. just clearing. I hope I'm wrong. but, I don't think so. my great aunt fudgie always says, "kateala, it's only too late when you're six feet under." I believe that. everything is forgivable to a degree. some things take an act of super strength. If we break up, I will always feel an aching sense of loss. the friend pool shrinks as you get older. how many great friends does a person really get in one lifetime? this sucks. I wish things were different. I wish that with every cleansing wipe, I could erase what happened. that it was an apparition. that it didn't really happen. but I can't. so, fuck me.

it shouldn't come as a surprise that I found this headline on the fabulous, huffpo . the essay is posted on truthdig . you have to fucking read it. after pat's birthday , by kevin tillman Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document. It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we get out. Much has happened since we handed over our voice: Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct ...

.... when one of your favorite reads, editorials from hell's leading daily newspaper adds your link and titles it: The finest cunt on the Internet!

dear sinuses: listen up you vile, evil, life sucking stringy cunt bitch whores, if you don't back the fuck off, I am going to rip you out of my head and burn you! would it kill you to let up for 5 fucking minutes? aren't you the slightest bit concerned that you're going to hit your sneezing and stuffy nose quota? what if you're only allocated "X" amount of sneezes in this lifetime? do you have a fucking back-up plan? how about being a little sensitive to ME? what about my needs? I'm in this relationship to, you know?! don't I get a say? what are you, male? you have little COCKtails attached to the base of your seeney strings? and, no, I don't feel like reconciling. we're so dead, we're petrified. go with god, you sinus snatch katie

shalom. jewgirl here. wp , I am fulfilling my book meme obligation. and, might I add, this happens to be the first time I'm super happy to be meme'ing. thanks for thinking of me, muffin top. 1 ) One book that changed your life : WOMEN by charles bukowski 2) One book that you’d read more than once : wake me when it's funny . 3) One book you’d want on a deserted island : the dream of a common language 4) One book that made you laugh : me talk pretty one day , a mind of its own, a cultural history of the penis . 5) One book that made you cry : the true and outstanding adventures of the hunt sisters 6) One book you wish you’d written : good in bed , then she found me , the the true and outstanding adventures of the hunt sisters , and the horse he rode in on . 7) One book you wish had never been written : every fucking anne cunt coulter book that's been or will be published. 8) One book you’re currently reading : pledged and running with scissors . 9) One book you’ve been...

cast your vote! choose the winning essay. no way I can do it. r ibbed for your pleasure and 5th dimension wrote the most fuck off FABULOUS ESSAYS! winner gets $25 sent via pay pal and a virtual crown with blair's pussy nestled right on top! Vote on who should win the 1st Annual Blaire Warner Pussy Eating Contest daddy ribbed for your pleasure 5th dimension darling Free polls from Pollhost.com

my online bff, wp , tagged me for a book meme . it's actually kind of a cool one. I'm gonna do it, but be warned, I am tagging the following for the same meme: crionaberry vocab honey smack big mouth miss cellania here are the questions... 1 ) One book that changed your life: 2) One book that you’d read more than once: 3 ) One book you’d want on a deserted island: 4) One book that made you laugh: 5) One book that made you cry: 5) One book that made you cry: 6) One book you wish you’d written: 7) One book you wish had never been written: 8) One book you’re currently reading: 9) One book you’ve been meaning to read: 10) Tag five people:

wanting what you will never have because it's simply not requited sucks the ass of an old chipotle salsa topped latke eater's ass. no. really. it does. but, what broad in her right mind would want to be with someone who wouldn't want to be with her?! still. it sucks. and, you know it. I know it. wanting someone I care about to be happy means more than what I might want. life is a mother fucker sometimes. he doesn't read my blog. relief.

goddess guth emailed me an article called, jewess bashes stay at home moms that I am passing on to you, and you fucking have to read it because this is a whole new level of hate. this broad's spin on the jew's need to eradicate christianity and homemaking is so sick. you have to read it because it's important. these are the jew-haters we need to be aware of. she is hitler dangerous.

not me. dumb ass. one of my best friend's, also named, katie. she was a gorgeous bride. the nuptials were in philly this weekend. it was beautiful. wonderful. fantastic to be back east. I saw friends and people I hadn't seen in 15-years. I'm so glad I went. and I am the anti-christ of weddings. but this. this was spectacular. best wedding I've ever been to. so happy for the blushing bride. now let's discuss my deep sorrow about having to leave the east to come west. it was so hard to get on that plane. no. it was so hard to get on that fucking plane. I didn't want to do it. it took every ounce of strength I had to board. and, two valium. fear not. I'm a jewgirl with a plan. kind of. in the making really. definitely. it's brewing in my head. and my heart. it has to ruminate. it has to blossom. it will. I am so into kd lang's, hymns of the 49th parallel at the minute that if there were a lesbian recruitment committee now would be a great time to sell ...

that divine creature, ribbed for your pleasure has submitted a FABULOUS essay for the 1st annual blair warner pussy eating contest and it's a doozy!!!! I may not have the cachet Jesus has, but I am the best pussy eater in the world because I treat cunnilingus like a religion. God made fingers for feeling, and penises for peeing, but he put a tongue in my mouth just so I can chow down on your lips of love. That’s right, Blair! Nancy McKeon may have given you a first taste of tongue love, but her Sapphic advances cannot compare to the legendary Mountjoy Mouth. It isn’t just the skill, it’s the enthusiasm that will have you in spasms. The devilish look in my eyes, as you peer down over your expansive pubic thatch (nice girl’s don’t trim "down there" do they?) to see just my eyes and forehead, hard up against your crotch. That feel of my warm breath on your thighs, as I trace my tongue up the inside of you legs towards the promised land. Let your Garden of Eden erupt with a ...

from our fifth dimension darling , mister mxyzptlk. please enjoy this wonderful essay submission for the 1st annual blair warner pussy eating contest ;0 I may not have the cachet jesus has, but I am the best pussy eater in the world because I am an imp from the fifth dimension and my little tongue can do things that a mortal human's cannot. Like for instance, it can focus on just one of Blair's clit cells at a time and can slurp at the speed of sound for minutes or hours if necessary. While I am eating Blair's pussy I can slip my little body inside her and tickle Blair's g-spot with my feet. My hands can caress the base of her clit while on the outside my hat spins at warp speed adding a stimulating breeze to the works. My small size gives me the ability to eat Blair's pussy like a woman sucks cock. Yes, my hands can go up and down and around the shaft while my head bobs up and down on the tip of Blair's clit. I can flip upside down and twaddle Blair's clit...

who are the fuckers? sinuses. I canNOT stop fucking sneezing no matter how many allergy shots I get or antihistamines I take. fuck. fuck. mother fuck. desire. the irony between louiejew and I right now is just a bit more than I can take at the minute. jewcifer's medical expenses right now are way too much for one dame. weight. weight. weight. I'm so fat right now that if you put sundial accessories on me, you could spin me and get an accurate reading. better yet, carve me, fly a lantern in my belly, spray paint me orange and what a perfect pumpkin I'd be. I'm sending louie to camp this week (what an auschwitzy thing for a jew to say. the guilt). not wanting to at ALL. canyon view is a canine shangri-la. I used to love taking him. but, I am phobic he will choke. choking is my biggest in fear in life. he choked this year on a ball and almost died. they say facing your biggest phobia helps ease your fear whatever your fear is. they can kiss my freckled flappy lipped wanna...

total job security . nobody ever questions jesus. he doesn't get reprimanded or written up. it's assumed that he does his job. he's regarded as a skilled multi-tasking go-getter. but, I've never seen a monthly report, have you? he's slim and in great shape . the man can eat anything he wants, and pig out until the cows come home. but, he never gains an ounce! he doesn't exercise and still, that jesus is so ripped. he's a world traveler and apparently shows up at all major functions without ever having to buy a new outfit or pay for travel expenses. wouldn't it be great if loin cloths and white robes would catch on? oh, wait, the white robes have caught on, but I don't think the klan counts. do they? he's been on the new york times best seller list forever. he's sold more copies of his books than any other author in the world. he's ambisexual and has slept with some very prominent figures, like, mary, matthew, mark, luke, and john. yet...

amy guth's blog is one of my daily runs. love it! love her work! she's amazing. she posted a link, sex in christ , that is truly the embodiment of the fundamentalist's ability to spin ANYTHING! check out these links: sex in christ oral sex and god's will anal sex and god's will viagra and god's will threesomes within a christian marriage bondage in christ fisting and god's will reader QandA , YOU HAVE TO READ!!!

blair warner loves jesus with all her heart. he's her daddy. still, this raises a question for me, though they seem to spend an awful lot of time together, does jesus really have time for a face to pussy with blaire? and, what about blair's husband? she loves him with all her heart too. but, he's a serious shim who SCREAMS gas station, glory hole queen. poor blair really doesn't have many pussy noshables in her life, now does she? in fact, it wouldn't come as a shock to me to learn that she has yet to even experience the wonders of good ol' fashioned american clit suckin', finger fuckin' goodness. being a humanitarian, I am putting my most selfless foot forward in the hopes that we can crown one lucky king, queen or quig, the official 2006 blair warner pussy eater. eligibility for the 2006 blair warner pussy eating contest: must be prepared to travel extensively for maximum dining opportunities. he, she, shim must excel in the art of the nosh with a tra...

I was having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine today about this boy who chonched on her beav last night. sure, he got her off... eventually. but, he wasn't a student of pussy. we decided this was a common issue. if you're gonna nosh, whether you're straight or lezzy there is such a thing as pussy etiquette. floss, and not with her stragglin' pubes. it doesn't count. brush your teeth, no broad wants halitosis twat! this is hot because? groomed fingernails, don't be thinkin' about digging your dark dirty nail grime inside mine or anyone else's cunt. yeah. that's a big NO. our boxes are breeding grounds for bacteria. trust me. we don't need any external forces contibuting to an already ripe hot bed of bacteria in waiting. as for hangnails... don't even think about it. if it scratches your face. hurts when it catches on your wool sweater or makes you wince, IMAGINE what it feels like scraping against the great v-wall. clit lickers are welc...

day sucked a midwestern subaru driver's ass. spoke to vet. worried. stressed. was overdrawn. fat. hate people. they say mean things. yeah. I can be a delicious cunting whore, but I ain't mean. I ain't spiteful. I ain't a cunt. cunty and cuntish do not equate to cunt. want this year to end. so done. need a new year. new season. new beginning. this is as vulnerable as it's going to get, people. -- save boobs: boobiethon.com :: ends october 7th. what are you waiting for!

you know that song:: Jenny, I got your number Jenny, I need to make you mine Jenny, don't change your number 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9) 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9) WHAT HAPPENED HERE?! what planets aligned so tommy tutone could sell this top of the pop chart , inapropriate tune?! I am so offended that it popped into my head without any forwarning. I feel violated. -- save:boobs: boobiethon

well, I'll tell you. after a discussion about my latest vetventure at $519., wp offered up the following pearls: It's nothing, you know he's Super Dog. BTW, the vet should throw in a blow job and a portable DVD player at these rates. -- save our boobies:: boobiethon.com !

which one of you bitches emailed this to me, may i have sex with you? initials dc. do I look like I was born yesterday? huh? do I? what am I? new! hardly. I won't publish shim's email address because that's just wrong on every level. a girl has standards! ** today is my favorite holiday in the world, yom kippur . it was a perfectly heebalicious day. yom follows rosh. on yom we atone for our sins. rosh hashanah is the jew-new-year. both holidays are great. love the whole, atone-in-a-day. talk about fabulous. the services are quite beautiful. one of my favorite prayers, the kaddish , prayer for the dead always tops off the service. it's just a very introspective reflective holiday. I dig that so much (ok, 70s dancing queen). happy jew year. atone beautifully. xo, jewgirl -- show your boobs and raise money to stop breast cancer: boobiethon.com !

I am so tired, oy. that jesus sure does love to dish. when my blackberry rang and the screen said, jesus calling, I was going to forward it to voicemail, but he'd only show up and want to have a girl's night. I'm menstruating, so I really wasn't up for that. he wanted to talk about the lisa welchel/blaire situation. who knew there was one?! well, apparently there is, and a BIG ONE at that. he's feeling hocked to death (or to life, depending on your religious slant). she doesn't stop with him. she calls constantly. she has big time creepy chick syndrome. he is so OVER IT. anyway, he asked for my advice. I really didn't know what to tell him. poor guy. she's way ocd about him. he's thought about filing a restraining order against her. but, he's afraid it would exacerbate the situation. he's in a serious conundrum. she constantly calls for guidance, thanks, a chat, to send good wishes to her family. to help her get through the day, finish her ch...

this time of year, if I'm single, which I am, it always feels like cock hunting season. like god forbid I spend the holidays and valentine's day without a man. because it's the worst possible thing that could happen to a girl. like I need to drag my fat ass out and strategically hunt for relationship dick NOW. and, the fact that I haven't found commitment peeny makes me a fucking inadequate freak-tard, incapable of the shrewdness required to manifest a man. well, FUCK THAT! so, I'm a pain in my own ass. so, I like impossible men who couldn't possibly fulfill my needs. so, I have issues with emotional intimacy. compared to the men I am attracted to, I'm still a rook. so what gives?! has it occurred to the self help set that I am choosing to be single for yet another holiday season until I can eradicate these issues? does it make me that much of a vile, disgusting, shameful whore bag?! since when does a meat free holiday season or two equate to relationship l...

coffee talk with blaire. this week's journal entry . this part's my favorite: my mom chose the chili and sea bass. (That sounded really good on this crisp, cool, fall evening.) By the time my mom was served her ganache chocolate cheesecake, we realized she wasn’t going to get her bowl of chili. We later figured out she had ordered “Chilean sea bass.” Oops. We felt like real hicks.

-- show your boobies for a cure:: boobiethon.com