Sunday, January 28, 2007

bottoming for my bosses

dear bosses,

hi. how are ya's? how's it going? great, I'm sure. all four of ya's live up my ass. what a thrill for you's that must be and for such cheap rent, too!

unfortunately though, this is a notice of rent increase. I know. I know. it sucks. but, with all of the additional tenants ya's have shoved up there and the additional real estate you've built, and are now occupying, I have to charge more.

thanks to you's, I have a village up my ass and constant foot traffic on rectal way. and, not lackadaisical foot traffic, runners-- some with heels and all with purpose. it's a bit exhausting and anally challenging. I'm so bunged up, oatmeal and laxatives couldn't save me now.

don't get me wrong, being your ace bottom has been so, wow- rewarding, I can't stop orally gushing about it. I'm thrilled. truly. but, I'm concerned that if I don't charge additional rent now, ya's-'ll begin construction on more villages and eventually a highway connecting them. and you know what that means, workerbees in their cars, zooming at high speeds along the intestine-405 so's not to be late to meet the king of my ass that is the four of you.

so, dear bossy bosses, ya's have one week to pay or quit.

your loyal bottom


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