Saturday, July 12, 2008

Break Out The Crates

My online bff 4evah, Cormac Brown, he blogs (I can't even refer to it in the past tense, I'm that twisted up inside) WriteProcrastinator, has shut down... for good. He's breaking up with us. Sure, we can still find him on Bad Lieutenants Wife and Cormac Writes. Still. It's not the same. Not only was Cormac the first commenter I got on All The Way From Oy to Vey, his blog has dished up some of my favorite series, Separated at Birth, SAB, SAB, SAB, Blog Rebus, yarns about SF and a few of his favorite local artists, Zhan Wang, Liz Hickok and so much more. He's delightful and hysterical, a gem of a person and blogger. He plugs all of our nonsense all of the time. He's incredibly supportive and the menschiest of mensches-- and now he's going bye-bye.

I am bluewjewin' it hard on this one. In his final post, the images have left me as forlorn as the post.

Cormac, you will be missed more than you know. I am pining already.

Evil Lives

We have a local parking nazi inside a mini-strip mall sitch. This man who owns the Westside Market also owns three parking spaces. He's allocated 5 minutes for visitors, to get in and get out. The minute you pull into your spot, before exiting your car, he is SCREAMING at you to make sure your planning to buy something. If you aren't, he berates you like the dirty fuck baby you are while smirking like the rat bastard he is. "Get the fuck out of that spot unless (beat for tonal change) you plan to buy something here."
P-Notz stalks his three spots every minute of every day. He's more concerned about you parking in his spaces than he is with you boosting his product.

Yesterday, we stopped in at Cingular. The lot was slammed. I told Ker to park in one of the Nazi's p-spaces. While getting out of the car, I told him I was coming to him. As he saw Kerri head to Cingular, he snarled (pigfucker). I said, "Breathe, I'm buying something, gaaaaaaaaahd."
I bought a bottle of water, the only thing I'm certain wasn't stocked back in 1969, and went back to the car, assuring him we wouldn't exceed our 5 minee stay in his precious spot. Two other people parked. When one broad told him she was hitting two stores, he barked at her, "You park here for my store only." Pointing to me (we must've hit the 6 minute mark), he waved his arms and wailed, "Get the fuck out of my space N-O-W." I didn't move. One minute later, he threatened to have us towed. I saw Ker making her way towards the car. PS: All of us were kicked out.

He must have such high blood pressure. Even though there is limited parking in the lot, I'll give him that, his eagerness to berate people and incite anger seems to be his primary objective. People are already so pissed off with the price of gas and worrying about losing their jobs, etc. etc. etc. Does he really have to be such a monumental prick? Or, am I being an irrational, insensitive bitch? Maybe I am.

I Wonder

Katie in May at Pilcrow and now, technically yesterday. Spill, can we see the 30 pound weight loss in her face? Any of it? Kerri, making my favorite field-reporter-face below, says yes. I disagree. Too close to the situation? Hmm... Payhaps.


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