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Showing posts from June 25, 2006

me-me

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#1 reason blake hardin should fuck katie schwartz

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1. to compare katie schwartz's pussy with katie schwartz's pussy I'm kidding. I must say, I am severely curious as to why your katie schwartz doesn't have an email address. is she food stamp poor? is she a hippie? is she opposed to advancements in technology? how old is katie schwartz? how tall is katie schwartz? thin? fat? chubby? big breasts? hearty laugh with the odd snicker/snort combo? friendly? cold? aloof? aquarius? blake, spill?

top 10 reasons to join the kkk

1. discounts on white sheets 2. uniforms with matching hats 3. stupidity is celebrated, revered and honored 4. hate and ignorance are bliss 5. you can be part of a klan... it's so b.c. it's cool 6. much like the military, there is ranking and order, but without the crazy 4 am wake up calls 7. unisex baldness is hot. how refreshing during the summer months 8. lots of brainstorming about new and innovative ways to execute hate 9. not having to think for yourself 10. you get to go to camp once a year for free!

top 10 reasons to be a drug addict vs. food addict

1. drug addicts have much more cachet and respect than food addicts 2. you can't quit food 3. if you're a coke whore, you get real thin 4. if you're a heroin addict, you vomit every time you dose. hence, you get thin 5. a meritage of highs await 6. recovering addicts have slogans 7. alienating your family is a guilt free slam dunk 8. it's far more cool to say, I'm jonesing for an 8 ball . it's not even remotely cool to say, man, I'm gettin' the shakes. I gotta score some mac & cheese. 9. recovering addicts get cakes if they maintain sobriety for "x" amount of time 10. volatile and unpredictible mood swings that blow a writer's creative process away!

insomnia ... again

I can't sleep. I think it's stress. joni mitchell isn't helping. love her music. she's so 60s-feminist. what's not to love? before a song makes it into the katie rotation, I listen to it for three days straight. weird, huh? I am hitting new lows of frustration. a neighbor moved out. he was weird. such a transient building. why are growths on the foot called, corns? it really kills the cob for me. banks suck. I weighed myself today. that was depressing. when someone is nervous, why do they say they are on pins on needles?