Saturday, December 16, 2006

and now for... ffartkisaf

I am joining the legions of bloggers with a queer ass friday thing, but I'm an aquarius, so I'm posting it on saturday's.

welcome to, friday's fears and reminder that katie is a freak.

1: waking up with an ant infested vagina
ants freak me out. they're highly organized and travel in massive packs. what if pussy juice is a delicacy in the ant world but nobody talks about it?! underwear isn't protection enough and we all know that. tights or nylons are my best bet for keeping my vadgey safe at night when I can't monitor what gets in and what gets out. though I might get a yeast infection, it's comforting to know that I won't wake up with ants swarming my lips and racing in and out of my v-canal.

2: waking up to an army of spider babies spilling out of one of my ears
I know the urban myth about a broad waking up and finding what appears to be a giant zit on her face. squeezing it and FREAKING OUT because of the army of vigilante spider babies pouring out. I'm not stupid. of course that's fake! it doesn't even make sense. what schmuck isn't going to notice a spider burrowing into her face for fuck sake?!

for me it's a two-fold issue: the idea of spiders using my ear like a 1950's make out lane to have reckless, unprotected sex because that's plenty disturbing and you know it. but, even worse is the fear of spiders loving my ear so much, they use it as a birth canal for their spawn. not only is that a vile thought, it's creepy and rude!

 

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