Katie Schwartz

This morning, my good friends at Echelon Magazine (if you haven't perused this read, click on over and check it out, it's wonderful. PS: Their weekly newsletter kicks ass. You can also follow them on Twitter if you're Twittering, that is. @ Echelon_mag . Back to my yarn... When I clicked on the link Michael sent me and saw this headline Soy is making kids 'gay' , I thought, no. No way is this schmuck that stupid. Turns out, he is! Though vintage, circa 2006, the original yarn was posted here . I've bolded my favorite parts. Soy is making kids 'gay' There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular. Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food. (Good to know, I was wor...

Continuing the Am I the fucktard or are they, series, I'd like to tell you about a banking experience from hell today. The bank in question hasn't peeled yet from peer pressure, and so I opened an account with them. Not with any degree of confidence, more out of necessity. Hours into our courtship, they attached someone else's $10,000 platinum credit card debt to my account -- accidentally -- or so they'd like me to think. It all felt so shamefully My Big Redneck Wedding. I called customer service and said, "Hey, I don't have a credit card with youse, much less credit card debt, so can you please remove this from my account." The response from the I-hate-my-fucking-job-because-I'm-underpaid-and-have-zero-benefits employee was "Hmm. Your name is Katie Schwartz, right?" "Yes, it is," I said. "Hmmm... I guess there's another Katie Schwartz, or are you just trying to get out of paying your credit card debt?" Har, har, ha...