Saturday, November 24, 2007


My divine cleaning diva now knows that I masturbate and it makes me a lil' uncomfortable. She's such a doll this broad. Since The Kid died there are some things I haven't been able to clean, so she comes in once a month to clean those things. I'm a freak, I know. When I'm ready, I'll clean those things myself. Anywho, I forgot that she also rips through drawers to organize them. I also forgot to hide my tools of the trade. You'd think she'd have left that drawer alone once she opened it. No. Not her. She organized my tools, according to size no less. Oy vey a shmear. Personally, I woulda left it alone. You know it has to be discussed, right? The question is, should I buy her one, and discuss that way, or should I ask her to refrain from organizing that particular drawer? Thoughts?

Did everyone have a delish Thanksgiving? Big weekend plans?

My Internet was down. It's back up. My modem peeled. The man came out today and gave me a new one. Ain't he sweet. Fortunately, when I heard the bleep-bleep-bleep of a truck outside, I flew onto the stoop ready to grab him. He had my name down as David Lieberman. I was insistent that he realize he was there for my jewrack, not some Jewjunk. How you get David Lieberman from Katie Schwartz will haunt me almost as much as Lady Hortz, which was way more plausible... I'M JUST SAYIN'.


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