Sunday, October 22, 2006


my cunt is menstruating like it might never have another opportunity to bleed again.
I need dick.
can't have the dick I want.
fuck men.
fuck everyone.
missed a call I really fucking wanted and needed to take, but my bitch ass crackwhoreberry didn't fucking ring.
mother fucking cock sucking fuckity fuck fuck

if I were a man today, I would tell everyone in the free world to suck my dick.

just shut the fuck up and suck my dick.

stop your yappin and suck my dick.

before you jump off that bridge, and you really should jump off that fuckin bridge, suck my fuckin dick!

I should've been born a man. but, I loooooooove being a chick. I do. I do. I do. I absolutely love being a beav. I love women. I think we are amazing.

but today... today, I want a dick. just today.


Mars said...

I'm not currently using mine. If only it really were detachable.

..oh, and if only I still trusted the postal service.

katie schwartz said...

mars, you are just always so adorable and so funny. you absolutely brighten a girl's day!!!

Ms Smack said...

hahaaaaaaaaaa Mars. Katie, if he manages to detach it, Bobbitt-style, when you're done, wash it, and send it to me.

I'll beat it like it owes me money.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"if I were a man today, I would tell everyone in the free world to suck my dick.

just shut the fuck up and suck my dick."

Why do you have to be a man, to do that? A lesbian from a nearby rival company told a coworker of mine, this very same thing. And that was before Demi Moore did it in "G.I. Jane."

Go right ahead, it has a whiplash factor of 9.5 on the shock rating.

Anonymous said...

Trust me, as someone who has owned one of these things for awhile, it's not worth the hassle. It's like having a weed-whacker hanging from your waist. Pretty convenient for when you need to do some gardening, but the rest of the time it's, "What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?"

And having a penis can lead to some unfortunate behavior, like playing lacrosse at Ivy League schools and joining frats and yelling "Suck my dick" to complete strangers. It's why men are (at least intellectually) the weaker sex.

Anonymous said...

I could bust out the strap on if it would make you feel better.....

katie schwartz said...

ooh miss smack forever the girl after my own heart.

I wonder if we have the same vaginas...

katie schwartz said...

LOVING YOU HARD ALWAYS, WP. hahahahahhahaha.

whiplash factor of 9.5 on the shock rating scale?!

nicely done!

katie schwartz said...

erik understands women BIG TIME. if he's single and straight, girls, grab his cock steed and ride it like you own it!

katie schwartz said...

shroomie... I wanted a real one for a day. but, I would never give up my V.


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