I'm in the flow...


I got my menses yesterday.
my gash is on fire.
I have womb hostage worthy cramps.
I am retaining so much fucking water it's not even funny.
I feel like a big fat sow.
I can see my cheeks because my face is so fucking swollen.
I'm bleeding like a stuck pig and drainage in los angeles sucks ass, so I should probably send out a flash flood warning.
if I don't and somebody drowns, am I liable?

Comments

Diane Valencen said…
Yes, dear, you would be liable for both persons and property. And may your suffering be oh so brief so you can take the Red Flag down!

Diane Tomlinson
Managing Editor-Terran Affairs
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
"Wrap your fish in Dis!"
12:01 PM
fingers said…
Are you totally horny too ??
That's the real sting in the tail during Flag Week.
Just when you're at your randiest, Nature conspires to make you utterly unfuckable.
What a bitch...
4:22 PM
Mountjoy said…
"My Gash Is On Fire"

Now if I hadn't already called it "Ribbed For Your Pleasure", you just would have given me a name for my blog, Katie.
7:39 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
diane, love, love, love the dis-brimstone :) it's so fabulous!!!

thanks for the crash course in legal liability.

I guess that means I shouldn't remove the skyscraper tampon in my pussy.

bummer.
8:09 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
gee fingers, thanks for the self esteem crash.

at least we now know that you won't fuck your honey when she's on her menses.

but, I bet you'll let her suck your cock. right?

:)
8:10 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
ps::: fingers. I'm allowed to be a cunt right now. pussy + blood. hi.
8:10 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
oh mount joy, ribbed for your pleasure is pretty god damned perfect.

but, you are free to boost, my gash is on fire for any need you might have.
8:11 PM
Romius T. said…
Kater do you get the red runs 16 times a month? Damn girl you is always on the rag.
8:53 PM
fingers said…
Precisely my point, Katie.
Imagine the situations reversed.
I have blood pissing out the end of my dick and I'm horny as hell, screaming "Oh come on...it's just a bit of blood...it's natural...just put it in your snatch and relax...".
The rags are a curse on my people as well as yours, Katie.
And I'm not talking about the Jews either...
9:04 PM
Mountjoy said…
So just imagine how persecuted Jewish women must feel while menstruating, fingers....
10:04 PM
fingers said…
I'm sure their suffering pales in comparison to living in perth, Donnie...
11:14 PM
Ms Smack said…
Hello? ANAL ?

Just cos a chick is on the flow doesnt mean she should MISS OUT on her most horniest time.

Cleansing of the minge is in fact, at its MOST WOMANLY, and natural... sure, i understand its messy.

Shower or anal: discuss.
2:57 AM
Ms Smack said…
Oh Donnie, I was wondering if frozen peas inside a condom would give the same, if not less costly, as Ribbed for your Pleasure?

What do you think? I mean, the peas might defront, and get mashed in the friction. And after your cock might look a bit like its got a green tinge, or spotty like a twister mat, but we all make sacrifices right?
2:59 AM
Ms Smack said…
defront = defrost. Sorry all that talk about peas and I got excited :-D
6:22 AM
fingers said…
Sorry Smack but I have to take issue with you on the anal thing.
I know alot of guys love it...but not me.
I have only tried it once and I really didn't like it at all.
Made my ass sore...
3:19 PM
Mountjoy said…
Ms.Smack, without having actually inserted my todger into a frozen-pea infested prophylactic, I can but speculate. I would imagine the sensation would be not unlike getting a hand job from an old lady from Alaska, with lots of warts, who has just come inside from shovelling snow without any gloves on...

I think the better "filling" might well be bean bag balls, those being a lot more pliable on the tenderest of man's nerve endings. Of course with all that polystyrene and friction, it would be fraught with danger. Jump off the bed without grounding yourself properly, and the bolt of static electricity might just zap your knob to a crisp...
4:55 PM
Anonymous said…
you know what- I have my best orgasms while on my period. Now granted no one will touch me during that time so we are speaking strickly solo- but with a tampon in place I cum sooo frickin hard... Wow- TMI but fuck it I am feeling fiesty.... ROCK ON!
8:36 PM
Al Sensu said…
Katie, this seems to happen to you just about every month. You ought to have it checked out.
10:05 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
romius, I can't argue with your logic. it's hysterical, but you make a great point!
3:29 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
I mean, FINGERS. sorry, fingers. I am fucking up today big time with you.

I hope this doesn't mean you're going to break up with me.
3:29 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
romius... 16 times a month?!?!?! because I'm a vocal snatch?!?!?! I expected more from you :)
3:30 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
shroom, ME TOO!!!
3:31 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
al sensu... SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!
3:31 PM
Romius T. said…
That's why I never get laid, women expect too much of me.

I am just saying it seems like every post is about your menstrual cycle. Don't make me go all "media matters" on you and prove it!

You know I i'd still hit that!
4:23 PM
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