Saturday, February 16, 2008

Dishing Veganism

I am TEMPORARILY vegan, carb free and sugar free, which means I eat fuck all and live in a perpetual state of frustration and starvation. I'm ready to spit twice and die. I haaate this diet. No, really, I hate it with a passion. I have never been more unsatisfied and more disgusted with food in my life. I actually have to force myself to eat-- me, a food whore, has to get-it-up to open the refrigerator.

Here's what I've learned so far:
  1. It sucks mothah fuckin' ass
  2. The food choices are limited and vile on a good day
  3. I don't like the texture or taste of tofu (and I'm a vegetarian) unless it's masked, cloaked and disguised exceptionally well
  4. mock cheese doesn't melt and tastes disgusting
  5. Because it's trendy, many people pronounce vegan, vaaygan. Oh-the-shame.
  6. I can't wait to be a vegetarian again
  7. On a positive note, my mind feels clearer and my body feels energized because what I'm putting into it is pure fuel. If I look at food as energy instead of as a luxury item, there is a lot of validity to being vaaaaaygan
Anyone who can commit to a vegan lifestyle and feel happy doing so, kudos to you. I am in awe of your strength and willpower. One of my brother's is a vegan and he loves it. Kid's a hero. I couldn't do it for life. No way. No how. Not evah. I'm just sayin'.

Keywords Katie's Blog is Coming up on

Look! Barbie has a vadge--finally.

I checked my keywords this morning for the past week and fell out, yo. Some of these phrases are a riot.

  1. katie schwartz - um, duh.
  2. coco - an honor as always.
  3. "greetings from george and laura's bush" - and OH what a bush it is.
  4. coco's vagina - okay, so I have a lot to say on the matter, but so does she.
  5. menstruation - beautiful.
  6. all the way from oy to vey - oh, goodie. Goodie?! Who am I?
  7. big vagina lips - I prefer meaty.
  8. coco camel toe - I digress.
  9. in side a vagina - "in side" is one word "inside"
  10. jamie spears knocked - UP, sweetie, SHE'S KNOCKED UP
  11. jews vulva - I wear them proudly.
  12. small vulva fucking - and your point is?
  13. thai girls video blogspot.comvulva - this is my favey because it's so whaaaaa?!

Focus, Lots of Dish

I have some fabulous announcements and dish coming soon. For now, here's what's up, my website will be launching shortly. The minute it's live, I'll post the URL so yas' can visit and yas bettah visit. Pushy enough?!

Last week, I got booked for Literary Death Match in New York, an Opium Magazine literarypaloozastravaganza. Being so wildly, passionately and desperately in love with the OM zeenylish, I'm plotzarella to the tenth power.

Artist James J Williams III posted pictures of the Paris installation that he's trying to save. I wrote about it here. The fundraising efforts are moving along famously. Donations are still required, be sure to contribute. Kid's work is at risk of being lost fahevah. Please visit his site and send some money to co-op and SAVE his work. Donate via PayPal

I am Ice-T's Wife Coco

Well, not really, but according to this website I am. AND I have the best body. AND I was bested as the #1 person. I really shouldn't kvetch. I love my photo montage that refreshes to a new scandalicious Cokatie. See!


design by