Katie Schwartz

I am TEMPORARILY vegan, carb free and sugar free, which means I eat fuck all and live in a perpetual state of frustration and starvation. I'm ready to spit twice and die. I haaate this diet. No, really, I hate it with a passion. I have never been more unsatisfied and more disgusted with food in my life. I actually have to force myself to eat-- me , a food whore, has to get-it-up to open the refrigerator. Here's what I've learned so far: It sucks mothah fuckin' ass The food choices are limited and vile on a good day I don't like the texture or taste of tofu (and I'm a vegetarian) unless it's masked, cloaked and disguised exceptionally well mock cheese doesn't melt and tastes disgusting Because it's trendy, many people pronounce vegan, vaaygan . Oh-the-shame. I can't wait to be a vegetarian again On a positive note, my mind feels clearer and my body feels energized because what I'm putting into it is pure fuel. If I look at food as energy inst...

Look! Barbie has a vadge-- finally . I checked my keywords this morning for the past week and fell out, yo. Some of these phrases are a riot. katie schwartz - um, duh. coco - an honor as always. "greetings from george and laura's bush" - and OH what a bush it is. coco's vagina - okay, so I have a lot to say on the matter, but so does she. menstruation - beautiful. all the way from oy to vey - oh, goodie. Goodie ?! Who am I? big vagina lips - I prefer meaty. coco camel toe - I digress. in side a vagina - "in side" is one word "inside" jamie spears knocked - UP, sweetie, SHE'S KNOCKED UP jews vulva - I wear them proudly. small vulva fucking - and your point is? thai girls video blogspot.comvulva - this is my favey because it's so whaaaaa ?!

I have some fabulous announcements and dish coming soon. For now, here's what's up, my website will be launching shortly. The minute it's live, I'll post the URL so yas' can visit and yas bettah visit. Pushy enough ?! Last week, I got booked for Literary Death Match in New York, an Opium Magazine literarypaloozastravaganza. Being so wildly, passionately and desperately in love with the OM zeenylish, I'm plotzarella to the tenth power. Artist James J Williams III posted pictures of the Paris installation that he's trying to save. I wrote about it here . The fundraising efforts are moving along famously. Donations are still required, be sure to contribute. Kid's work is at risk of being lost fahevah. Please visit his site and send some money to co-op and SAVE his work. Donate via PayPal

Well, not really, but according to this website I am. AND I have the best body. AND I was bested as the #1 person. I really shouldn't kvetch. I love my photo montage that refreshes to a new scandalicious Cokatie . See!