Thursday, March 30, 2006

spring + pastels = disgusting

I am so completely disgusted and offended by pastels. it's not natural, and it's not appropriate under any circumstances. it's freakish.

meterosexuals, corporate weekenders and women wear pastels. bible thumping -linen pastel tote bag carrying- vanilla ice cream and ham eating F-R-E-A-K-S.

that is what spring pastel apparel buyers are.

women who wear pastels wear strings of pearls, and I don't mean cum pearls, the real pink clam slammin' ones.

there is nothing attractive about a pastel. pastel wearers have glazed doughnut faces. They smile at scampering puppies, tapioca pudding and wicker picnic baskets filled with blush Chablis.

I FUCKING HATE PASTELS!

my girl is back!



well, my new crackberry came today. all is write with the world now. I can't tell you how relieved I am. however, I will still be sitting shiva for the original.

more from, you know you're crazy when...

you have the audacity to send the below comment in an email and expect the recipient to believe you:

"half of Hollywood has my eggs. I have about 100 illigetimate kids from my stolen eggs that I won't recognize ever."

latest key phrase katie's blog comes up on

katie cruise eating junk food in public.

FABULOUS!

if I could do anything today...

I would...

write.
fuck.
float.
get massaged.
eat.
receive my blackberry.
exercise good hand care.
play catch with my dog on the beach.
be thin.
have pilate arms.

latest headlines...

jessica simpson:
"I want to adopt, and I plan to adopt before I have my own kids," the pop star recently told TV's "Extra."

this sentence is just wrong on every level. it's just so UN-baby-look-at-me. isn't it?

"I think Angelina Jolie has done amazing, amazing things, and the international adoption rate just since her has skyrocketed," Jessica said. "It's unbelievable."

who knew multi-national adoption would become a jet setting fad?! what's going on with american homeless and crack babies? aren't they ever going to make a comeback!!!


houston on katrina victims:
Many people in the nation's fourth-largest city complain that the influx has led to more murders and gang violence, long lines at health clinics and bus stops, and fights and greater overcrowding in the schools. Some of those claims are debatable, but the sentiment is real.

how BUSH. but my favorite is this sentence:

"We still feel sorry for them. We still want to help them, but it's to the point where enough is enough," said Torah Whitaker, 25, of Missouri City, a Houston suburb.

that is just a shame bundle, isn't it?

why are we kvetching about immigration? I must've missed the american born dream memo, the one that requests the immediate termination of immigration so that we citizens can vie for house cleaning, veggie picking and cab driving jobs. hasn't anyone given any thought to the poor residents of beverly hills and bel air? they don't hire english speaking help. god, people, think it through!

 

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