No Shortage Of Stuffing Pie Hole Here, Metaphorically Speaking

I broke up with J Crew, but we got back together.

I’ve noticed that a lot of Born Agains are starting to follow me on Twitter. To be clear, I don’t mean Christians or Catholics, I mean Zealarellas (zealots). I’m wondering… What part of me screams save me?

Wanna read more? Of course you do! Kidding. If you do, fab. If not, I understand. No pressure, no guilt. I'm a freak.

Midgets, Siblings and Masturbation, Oh My

The non-sequitur post from hell.

The emails I’ve received for the wrong KatieGirl@gmail.com are worth reporting:

UPDATE: Received today 11/14 “I can’t poo any longer i thought my butt was stronger! but I need your help to tacke this deamen out! Juust stick your hand up there and move it everywhere until u u puulll it. Ouuuuttttt ooooo ya ya yaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

I bought software from StreamingFlix.com under the name Katherine. For the record, it’s Katie Louie Schwartz, mothah fuckah. Ga'head, read the rest...

Beautiful Photography, by Susan Ledgerwood

Susan Ledgerwood Other Worldly Visual Storyteller, She’s All About YOU

Susan Ledgerwood. You might know her via Twitter @SoyGoy. You might be a “Fan” of Susan’s work on Facebook. If you’re not following her on Twitter or have become a fan of her work on Facebook, after reading about her and seeing her work, you will be. Read the rest and see her work! You'll plotz.

A Decision Has Been Made

I am going to cross-post on The Vey what I post on KatieSchwartz.com. I miss it. The Vey, I mean.

What's news and exciting, you ask? Posting now.

Stay tuned. I have insomnia and lots to dish.

SCHWARTZ HAS MOVED

Beautiful babies, I have officially moved. I will not be deleting this blog, ever. I am in a new spot where I will be ranting and raving. You know how I do. Come visit me at KatieSchwartz.com. Come on, don't be shy. You can do this. We'll do it as a family. Ready. Set. Click.

CHANGE

BREATHE.
STAY WITH ME.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OOOOKAAAAY.
IF YOU CLICK THIS LINK, I PROMISE IT WON'T BITE.
LOVING...

DEAR THYROID IS IN THE SISTERHOOD

@Anastasia_Smith of The Sister Project, follow them on Twitter @sisters, wrote a gorgeous post about her thyroid, sisterhood and Dear Thyroid. Please read, From The Threads of Thyroid Tales.

Thank you!

Isn't she a honey? Click on over and read.

*cross posted at DearThyroid.

OLD JEWS TELLING JOKES

This morning I woke up to Old Jews Telling Jokes in my box, courtesy of my girl, FranIAm. OJTJ is so funny, I think I want to marry the website.

KATIE RANTS

Good morning!

If you've been following my tweets, @katieschwartz, you know that my pal VeronicaWords, is working like a dawg to, well, save dawgs.

From VW: "Here’s the scoop from @VeronicaWords: vote 4 us! http://is.gd/3EQR Fill in Pike County Humane Society Milford PA & Search. then select us. Animal verification, that’s it!".

It's a great shelter and you can vote every day, so please do. They're in desperate need of the fundage. Off you go to vote for canine hope.

My dad joined Twitter, @jsbrooklyn. I'm plotzing. @TanyaEspanya, doll that she is, friended my pops. As far as dark humor is concerned, you'll quickly learn the apple does not in fact fall far from the tree, not at all. Friend him, ga'head. I think he knows how to follow back, if not my brother, @nicktony will show him, I'm sure.

I'm obsessing about the song, Caribbean Queen, for reasons I can't explain, and the mispronunciation of the word, "Caribbean". It is not pronounced "Caara-beee-aun", which is, in my opinion, enunciation murder. Worsening the issue, lest we forget it was a huge hit. How? Why? What happened? Where was I during this songbacle?

Have you seen infomercials for the Bullet Express? In the middle of the night, when I can't sleep, I am a food product infomercial whore. Anyway, the infomercial has the creepiest crew, force feeding insert-grandma-here, a food bulletized beverage. What's worse, is her insert-son-here, staring at her wantonly while she's drinking. Watch!

Another one is the Cricut Expression, a scrapbookey spin-off tchoch that's fun for the whole family. Admittedly, this one bugs the shit out of me.

What happened to Ron Poppeil, you know, the infomercial daddy who coined the phrase "But, wait, there's more"?

Here's one I love -- Really, it's the dame I love, never the products, always the sales peeps and their handy-dandy-ever-so-shocked-side-kicks, the Turbo Cooker.

THE SILVER ENVELOPE PROJECT

In response to the Red Envelope Project, I have launched the Silver Envelope Project. I posted about my disdain and contempt for the REP, you might have read it here, Abortion, The Breakfast of Champions.

My objective for the Silver Envelope Project is for legions of women who are pro-choice, to join me in posting written letters, video letters and photo/collage letters to the Silver Envelope Project blog, to virally syndicate our message as aggressively as they are.

I hope you'll review and send me lots of letters and get involved!