Katie Schwartz

I am out of blog dish. I got nuttin' interesting. bubs asked me to elaborate on the douche yarn . here yas go. after I told pershina she wasn't getting inside my box, she told me I was immature and irrational. me?! nervey enough. I said, you're from a very conservative country (I had to be diplomatic. I couldn't say ass backwards. wanted to, but didn't). I can't imagine it's acceptable for you to be handling my vagina. I kid you not, she ripped the cookie that was dangling from my lips out of my mouth and ordered me out of her house. cunt. I ran into her about a year later at bank of america. she said, I recognize you. where do I know you from? I couldn't help myself... I wanted to rent your apartment, but you refused to rent it to me because I wouldn't let you douche me. she ran out of there faster than time. (get it)? I got nuttin. I was tellin' guthy the other day about my naybah and her new fuck toy b artholomew . I have a serious issue wit...

titled: sabbatical . below please find excerpts of this week's journal entry for our hedonistic coffee tawk and the howard cosell of jesus' responses. Not only was my schedule out of whack last fall but God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to use that season of my life to do an emotional and spiritual makeover in my heart at the same time. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t coincidental. Since I’m pretty sure that brokenness was the goal, God allowed the stress to come at me from all sides to breakthrough my strength so that He could reach the most protected parts of my heart. He started a deep work that still feels like it is in the beginning stages . so, now that j-dawg has broken his shrew, what are his intentions? what about our spiritual and emotional makeover? Toward the end of 2006 I felt like the Lord was calling me to a Sabbatical. At first I thought it meant that I wasn’t to write a book in 2007, other than “The Busy Teacher’s Guide to Prayer ” and so filled with ideas you ...

Dear LeeWee, I know you don't know me personally, but I'm Katie's BFF. She TOTALLY lets me read all the letters she sends to you, and I dry her tears when you ignore her in return. Why are you so hard on her, LeeWee? She tries so hard to be your friend and you just turn a blind eye again and again. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, LEEWEE? Ever ask yourself that? leewee, the only reason I have the strength to write to you now and maintain my blog is because of cp 's boundless generosity. I have gone through every virtual box of his kleenex. he has and continues to dry every single cyber tear of rejection. we are also very concerned about how anti-christian you're being. if jesus can throw a bone to a whoa, don't you think you can give a shout out to a jew? the man himself was a heeblette. that's something to get your prayer on about. But I didn't mean to run on & on about Katie, fabulous as she is. (I heard she used to do herself up in the Blairsey hairstyle. So ...

1. no leewee journal entry today. I'm most forlorn about it. no family pics to mock. no entry to dissect. how am I supposed to go into my week without her direction and guidance? what about me? what about my needs?! a busy excuse just won't cut it. you can't have a WEEKLY journal if you're going to journal at your convenience. it's self defeating. just call it, the leepee journal whenever I fucking feel like it . 2. must clean. house is utter chaos. not totally, but for me it's chaotic (how very twit and sledge of me). I could not be less in the mood for a cleanse fest. I need the clarity, so I'm going to do it. tomorrow night is laundry. I hate bringing clean clothes into a dirty house. it's fat. 3. two writing deadlines this week that I haven't even begun. I suck. I've been skipping around one and I need to just dive in, womb first. 4. trying to get hageen groomed. he's covered in mud and smells like wet grass and canine fur. I must admit,...

this week's leepee entry was about the daniel fast ... with a few choice gems. I realized too late that I hadn’t written a journal entry for this week. I breathed a quick prayer, “Dear Lord, I don’t want to let my cyber friends down again but I don’t have a spare minute to write this before I leave town and I don’t want to be writing while I’m with Angela. What can I do?” I'm hearing a lot of "I's and me's." I'm NOT hearing a lot of, "you and you's". in a situation like this when a zealot has a narcissism tantrum, something akin to breathing for these folks, that zealot should really consider the following inquiries instead, what would jesus do? or jesus, it's your decision. jesus, I'm going to let you pilot this one. I immediately thought of my friend, Sarah, whom I introduced you to last year. I never got a personal introduction. did you? I logged onto her blog and discovered she had recently written about our church wide call to a...