Katie Schwartz

you know you're crazy when: "I think I won the Nobel Peace Prize in poetry. Is this why everybody stopped speaking to me? Or is it because we got back my recording money/trust fund?"

you get a phone call from a 78-year-old woman requesting racy content for her phone sex website, a supplement to her monthly social security. in her zeal to passionately convey her message, she demonstrates all of her sassy phone sex voices for you, the sultry asian, the husky african queen and the naughty catholic school girl. the whole thing made me want to call my 86-year-old aunt fudgie and tell her I found an idyllic work from home, part-time gig for her. she would be perfect for the role of dominatrix. she's a pushy dame from new york with more moxie in her pinky then most people have in their entire bodies. I can just imagine her first seduction... fudgie: whom-I-tawkin-to? horny cock: hung stallion. fudgie: get outta here! horny cock: but that's my name. fudgie: your mothah did not give you that name. horny cock: fine. it's stanley. fudgie: what the hell is a nice jewish boy calling an 86-year-old woman for phone sex?! horny cock: I can't believe it's costin...

so funny !

By Ray Richmond It was nice to see common sense carry the day for a change when the California Supreme Court unanimously ruled last week that sexually-explicit banter in the writers room at "Friends" did not violate the rights of the fired writers' assistant (read: disgruntled former employee with ax to grind) who filed the original lawsuit. To put it another way: the writers room is once again safe for trash-talk about Courteney Cox's genitalia. While this may not seem like a giant leap forward for creative freedom, trust me that it is. The 7-0 decision by the high court shooting down the sexual harassment argument brought by the dismissed Amaani Lyle in her suit is encouraging. First Amendment rights of free speech still hold water, even in an industry whose artistic independence is under increasing scrutiny and threat. What's more disturbing is that this made its way so far up the judicial food chain in the first place. That it would be deemed a test-case piece...