Sunday, November 30, 2008

WHY AM I SUCH A FREAK O NATURE

I am looking for an apartment as yas all know. Admittedly, I have weird ass requirements. Not that any of you are shocked, of course. Me being me and all.


The sound of vertical blinds clacking like cheap, hollow high heels is so unnerving, it's worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. And carpeting. Please.... I can't breathe. It's a fiber-allergen waiting to attack.


A building that looks like this, screams death on toast with a peach schnapps back. In California, I can't live in a high rise either. I'm an e-quake phobe.

No. No. No. This kitchen is wrong on too many levels. It's a claustrophobe-mare with a pink flower to boot. What the fuck?! White is good, sure. It's that half wall situation that's got me jeaned out and hello, whatever happened to refrigerators?! Ya can't throw in a fridge? Suck my menstruating ovaries.


We need to digress for a minee. Buildings like this also jean me out. Wanna know why? It feels college dormy, even though we're strangers leading our own lives, let's all BFF. I'll pop over all the time, OMGeers. No. So not gonna happen.


Our tour is almost over. If the person who actually posted this, thought the image of Euro-daddy-architect and chick-who-won't-date-him-unless-he-has-a-brand-new-BMW is the kind of building I would consider, they couldn't be more incorrect. Then again, I just might be the trash they're trying to weed out.

I found what I love. Click FLOOR PLANS . In the bottom left corner you'll see little photos. Click each, to see the bigger picture of each mini-pic. This is my kinda joint, so stunning, I'm plotzarella from this place.

A REPRIEVE


Right?
For once my people ain't takin' the heat.
Thanks for sending, Lewch.

MAYBE MEEMED?

MonkeyStud might have meemed me. I think he did, though I'm not sure. I know, I'm a fucktard. It's Sunday, can I get a pass? Thanks.

1. Five names you go by
a) Katie
b) Louie
c) Schwartzy
d) Jewgirl
e) Quatz

2. Three things you are wearing right now
a) Sweatshirt
b) Sweats
c) Keen shoes

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment
a) (this is MonkeyMucker's answer and quite honestly, I can't think of a better one. He said exactly what I feel) for Bush and Cheney to be led from the White House in handcuffs and then tried for their crimes against humanity
b) Great results tomorrow, resolution finally and no new issues.

4. Three people who will probably fill this out
a)
Fran I Am
b) Bethy
c) Cormac Brown
d) Bubbsie
(Yes, I can count, thanks. I just hunched on 4)

5. Two things you did last night
a) A deep and rewarding conversation w/my ma, one of those life lesson convo's that I wouldn't trade for all the bagels in Brooklyn. It was that good, my friends.
b) Wrote my neurotic phobia list, it's enviable, yo.

6. Two things you ate today
a) So far, just medication
b) coffee, bliss in a bucket

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone
a) My dad
b) Wellie

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow
a) Der'apt
b) Writing

9. Two longest car rides
a) Driving across country (US) 6 times
b) Driving from Durham to London

10. Two of your favorite beverages
a) Bottled room temperature Gingerale
b) Ice cold coke-a-cola from a can

 

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