Katie Schwartz

Thank you everyone for your incredible e-couragement and support. You are such honies and so very appreciated. I will be e-stalking yas next week to thank you. Last night, Amy kicked off the festival with the Fabulous Fixx Reading series and it was a blast! I met my faberific, lovely and funny publisher, James @ So New. I met many great writers and Angela Gant, playwright and a true chick with moxie.  Also, super twitters Sawyer and TheFem Geek, co-founders of The UnScene Chicago  -- They are as adorable and lovely and talented as can be. I don't know if yas know this, but it was also the first time I met Amy Guth in person. We instantaneously bonded. As if there would've been another option?! Please...  The child is fan-fucking-tastic. I adored her before.  In person, it's a hundred times bettah. Oh, and... I met our BELOVED blogger Joe and his oldest daughter. I love Joe Bubbsie and his family. I'm hanging out with him again on Saturday night for the NOLA Fund Raiser...

1) Thursday night, The Fixx Coffee Bar Jami Attenberg and Katie Schwartz (not the other KS's online, this Katie Schwartz will be reading. I'm reading an essay from my book. You must come! I want to see all of your fabulous faces. 2) I went to a corsitorium today for bras to hoist the hooters. Back in New York, they used to have proper corsitoriums for dames with generous racks. Older dames who chose your bras for you. This non-diva was a riot. She was in her 80s, a handsome woman, reminiscent of the days in New York when pickles were purchased in barrels, a very lower east side kinda dame. After throwing me in a room, she told me to take my top off so she could stare at the twins. Five minutes later, in a thick Russian accent, she said, "I be back. You wait." Upon her return with three highly unattractive brazatskies (bras), she placed the bra over each arm, pushed me over, hoisted my girls into the bra, locked that bitch up, straightened me up and proceeded to feel...

STUNNING!! Check out this fabulous interview about Amy Guth , the Pilcrow Lit Fest and her debut novel, Three Fallen Women . Lots of dish and well worth the listen.

My sister was so deeply touched by everyones comments and support. She was plotzarella and wanted me to thank my fabbylish readers, so THANK YOU! Ker's learning to comment. It's a process, donchya know. Funny yarn. I woke up this morning reminded of when my Aunt Sadie called me on her 65th birthday. Her husband had been dead a year and she had become the PROUD condo slut. You can see why we loved each other, right? The girl could not keep her legs together, not for 5 minutes and I loved her dearly for that and everything in between. She was post-menopausal. We dished every week. That year, every time I called her, she'd say, "Dear, I'm entertaining a gentleman friend" and promptly hung up. Anyhoodle, she said, "I went to the gynecologist the other day because my pookie felt odd. You'll just never guess what he said." Pause. Pause. Pause. "I have venereal warts", she declared. I was so excited, I said to my gyno, at my age to have an STD...

I feel menstrually betrayed. My sister and her BFF began menstruating on Friday without me. No memo was sent to my womb. Here I sit in a PMS stupor going it solo. While in the car with her last night, I courted her hormones with champagne, strawberries, chocolate, salty potato chips-n-dip, anything to entice the mones to mingle with mine so wombareena would bleed. This morning... bupkas. Refresh. Sigh. In an effort to drag myself out of the thyroid closet that I've been living in for the past five plus years, here's the dish: I got fabbylish news last night from my endocrinologist about my thyroid. I'm 14 points away from having a balanced thyroid. Having been severely hyper and hypothyroid for so long, those 14 points have taken my wig off, I'm over the moon. Your thyroid regulates your mind and body. If that bitch goes awry, all bets are off-- youse are all kinds of jacked whether you're hypothyroid or hyperthyroid . Anyhoodle, in my forthcoming title (Emotiona...

By way of Guthy , I found Lauren Cerand 's very New-York-literary-fabulous blog and an interview about her , and that's how I found the paragraph in : Women of the Beat Generation , a book I'd never read, though something I have been searching for. Today, it arrived and I am devouring it. I'm 50 pages into it and can't put it down. I'm savoring every word. It's all brilliant, one of the paragraphs is without a doubt the most brilliant I've ever read: "In many ways, women of the Beat were cut from the same cloth as the men: fearless, angry, high risk, too smart, restless, highly irregular. They took chances, made mistakes, made poetry, made love, made history. Women of the Beat weren't afraid to get dirty. They were compassionate, careless, charismatic, marching to a different drummer, out of step. Muses who birthed a poetry so raw and new and full of power that it changed the world. Writers whose words weave spells, whose stories bind, whose vi...

Have you donated fundage to Pilcrow? You haven't?! Oh, honeys, you have got to ChipIn there's an incentive and all. Check it out, this from Guthyroo: " For every $25 you donate via our ChipIn page between today and May1st, you will be automatically entered in a drawing for a gift certificate to Wishbone (super delicious) Cafe here in Chicago. Donate $25, we'll enter your name once, twice for $50 and so on. Not bad!" It's flawless. To read more about the incentive, check out the Pilcrow Lit Fest Bloggy . Leah from Accidentally Jewish is working with OSRUI about an upcoming retreat on May 2. Here's the dish about the retreat: " Discovery Shabbat is a one night retreat for people who are 25-40 and Jewish, curious about becoming a Jew, or interfaith couples who want to know more about Judaism.We have two great rabbis coming to lead the weekend and our regional outreach coordinator. The cost of the retreat is $75 per person and includes lodging, foo...

The Pilcrow Lit Fest " Five With " Katie has been posted. Check it out, yo. I just popped my literary festival interview cherry. In other Pilish dish, Pilcrow is on Twitter , twitterfriend them hard for the latest updates and such. Pilcrow is also accepting donations, so fabulous. We can put our love of all things literary where our mouths are and chalk up a few buckaroos. I know I'm way behind on my meemish detail. Let's not judge, tomorrow I'll start posting like nobody's bizola.