halloween and floods... oh my!

today, I decided to wear floods all day. but, not just floods. cuffs that were clearly terrified of touching shoe. I wanted to see how people would react. I was very disappointed. I got a few grimaces and the odd sneer, but that's it! am I that unfortunate? I was hoping for some core laughs and wicked vile comments. instead I got bupkas. sigh. I'm a blue jew.

I'm on a budget this year, so I'm trying to decide what to go as for halloween. I'm torn. if I buy an afro and a rope, I can tie my kitchen clock around my neck and go as flavor flave. if I'm willing to invest in a black cabbage patch baby, I can go as madonna. but, if I add big round glasses and a leash, I can go as brad and angelina.

decisions. decisions.

I'm so conflicted.

Comments

Anonymous said…
What could be funnier than a Jewish woman dressed as Flavor Flav?
Not much, that's for certain.
7:45 AM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Borrow a Hawaiian shirt from one of the neighbors and sling on a cardboard sign that says, "will pitch for food."

What? Oh, c'mon Katie, don't say that! I told you already, "there's no 'f' in thank you."
10:44 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
good point, di!
7:13 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
wp, don ho?
7:14 PM
Dale said…
Only Jew can make the world seem right.
7:52 PM
yournamehere said…
When I was a kid we would verbally destroy anyone who wore "highwaters". They would have loved the lack of attention you received while wearing your floods.
7:57 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Danny Bonaduce's Creepy Peen

Image
I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the thrusting jacked sack. Or, his dirty orange palms color coordinated to match his freakpubes leading to the creepiest weepeen I've ever seen. And, I'm not even a size queen. Help me. I can't stop staring at it. Happy Halloweeeneeeee
Read more

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more