Tuesday, October 10, 2006

1st blaire warner pussy eating essay submission!


from our fifth dimension darling, mister mxyzptlk.

please enjoy this wonderful essay submission for the 1st annual blair warner pussy eating contest ;0

I may not have the cachet jesus has, but I am the best pussy eater in the world because I am an imp from the fifth dimension and my little tongue can do things that a mortal human's cannot. Like for instance, it can focus on just one of Blair's clit cells at a time and can slurp at the speed of sound for minutes or hours if necessary. While I am eating Blair's pussy I can slip my little body inside her and tickle Blair's g-spot with my feet.

My hands can caress the base of her clit while on the outside my hat spins at warp speed adding a stimulating breeze to the works. My small size gives me the ability to eat Blair's pussy like a woman sucks cock. Yes, my hands can go up and down and around the shaft while my head bobs up and down on the tip of Blair's clit. I can flip upside down and twaddle Blair's clit with my feet while I lick and suck her g-spot.

Bet you humans never thought of that! I am a whole-pussy pussy-eater. And what makes you think I don't have the cachet jesus has?

BRA-FUCKIN-VO!!! YOU ROCK! YOU MADE MY DAY! THIS IS PERFECT!

oh, kiss my beige lippy jew cunt, fuckers!

who are the fuckers?

sinuses. I canNOT stop fucking sneezing no matter how many allergy shots I get or antihistamines I take. fuck. fuck. mother fuck.

desire.

the irony between louiejew and I right now is just a bit more than I can take at the minute.

jewcifer's medical expenses right now are way too much for one dame.

weight. weight. weight. I'm so fat right now that if you put sundial accessories on me, you could spin me and get an accurate reading. better yet, carve me, fly a lantern in my belly, spray paint me orange and what a perfect pumpkin I'd be.

I'm sending louie to camp this week (what an auschwitzy thing for a jew to say. the guilt). not wanting to at ALL. canyon view is a canine shangri-la. I used to love taking him. but, I am phobic he will choke. choking is my biggest in fear in life. he choked this year on a ball and almost died. they say facing your biggest phobia helps ease your fear whatever your fear is. they can kiss my freckled flappy lipped wannabe miracle of a vadge. cause that so ain't true.

loving ain't right now. it's that perfect blend of truck driving white trash and bible belt cow tipping teen.

that's it. I'm done. gotta go to work. argh. argh. argh.

ps::: if you don't know the origin of the image above... go away! kidding. but, you should know it.

 

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