Katie Schwartz

I keep in touch with my first blowjob. see, when my dad was going through open heart surgery last year, I needed a distraction, so I googled him and donchya know, I found him and decided to send a missive. dear l: how are you? you probably don't remember me. I gave you my first blowjob. anyway, just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. hope all is well, katie he emailed me back a week later and we've kept in touch ever since. he seriously had no recollection. then again, he became a bit of a crack addict. aww, god love him. don't you bitches be sittin' in judgment of this heebalish. he was a nice jewish boy who went awry. it happens to the best of us. he invited me to his bbq. I can't attend because I live out of state. is that weird? that he invited me, I mean? he wants a repeat bj to jog his memory. what am I? new. crackeena please.

I feel guilty posting this actually because it's such a bubs post. really, bubs, you're the one who should be posting this, not me. so, I expect a cross-post. pushy enough? in flaaahrida, an employee refused to hand over more chili sauce and was shot... with a gun. yeah. ohhhkay. the employee cited company policy was to only hand out two sauces per bowl of chili. let's visualize that conversation, shall we? wackjob: can I please get a few extra hot sauces? manager: sorry, no. we're only allowed to give two per bowl of chili. wackjob: please??? I really need extra hot sauce. manager: sorry, it's company policy. only two per bowl. so he takes out a gun and shoots the kid. what the fuck is that about? I'm not advocating shooting someone by any means. it's such a trailereena move. but, if you're going to whack somebody over hot sauce, what kind of a fuckin moron doesn't want to go to the top of the food chain literally?!

I am a snatch on wheels for falling behind on my blogging. ya's are so sweet leaving such fabulous reminders! thank you. I haven't been able to read my fave blogs either. all of that will be changing this week. I will be posting and reading all your delicious and fagulicious bloggies. can't wait :). pining hard. omgeers, did you read about falwell's funeral? no worries if you didn't, I'm posting about it. the shame...