Sunday, September 17, 2006

happy birthday!!!!

monday is nicoleo's b-day.
skip on over to verbs and wish her a very happy birthday!
it's going to be a tits year for her! the breast ever!!!!

lip smackin beav for days

thank you jcbc! this fabulous cavernous cunt clip is from the great carlucci! so fucking funny. turn up your sound... you will laugh your asses off.

Man Jailed for 11 Years in Bizarre Divorce Saga
MEDIA, Pennsylvania (Sept. 16)

Barbara Jean Crowther Chadwick is now Bobbie Applegate - she made up the last name. in past interviews, she has described a home life controlled intensely by her husband, with rationed toilet paper (six sheets per bathroom visit) and sex (7:30 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays).

she should be grateful. he gave her six squares per visit. if she can contain her anal explosions to once a day, she can use up 90% of that day's squares and ration the other squares for peeing. what is so complicated here, people?!

he also didn't withhold the cock. he was putting out twice a week. I'm not sure if this accounts for foreplay, but I assume that if it doesn't, he'd be willing to compromise and allocate a good 15 minutes towards it.

it's all about negotiation, applegate. ps: does she thinks she bears a striking resemblance to c-app?

and, what is with that tattoo? could it be any rougher on the eyes?!

let go. move it along, people.

I'm done blogging today. I have that much to do and I'm putzin' around wayyy too much.

oh, the shame of it

how contrived and cliche can you be? well, I'll tell you.

have a lil' native in the background for authenticity.

the undead

you can call me a cunt all you want. you can. there are some people who will always be the forever undead. like, mickey rooney. he still has a pulse, and apparently an official website, too.

john wayne. sonny bono. buddy hackett. john denver. oh, wait. he hasn't peeled yet, right? raul julia. anne bancroft - goddess -

why don't hookers have insurance?

it's hotter than a hooker's pussy outside. speaking of hookers. I love this... hookers support network. I'm serious.

I think hookers and sex workers should have health insurance plans provided by their pimps, production companies or clubs. why not?! who doesn't want a decent health plan? if I were a madame, all my girls would have insurance. it's the right thing to do!

I've emailed the hookers support network and requested an interview. I don't think I get that many working girl readers, but I would love to interview him. I wonder what he'll say...

today on coffee talk with blaire...

I've been desperate for Jesus since I was a little girl. The pastor laid his hands on me and prayed for me to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit and I immediately began to praise the Lord like I never had before. I was so excited. I felt so full of Jesus!

she's so insightful that blaire, isn't she?!

I think she's recounting her first sexual experience. sounds very full-body-orgasm.

I thought everybody was Baptist. My friends and relatives soon informed me that I had probably been inducted into a cult.

oh blaire, even us dirty jews? you thought we were baptist, too?

I hope I'm not boring you. If not, join me next time when I tell you about the church I attended after high school. I can't wait.

oh, I simply can't wait. my vulva lips are twitching like crickets in anticipation of more bible yarns from blaire.

one more thing, someone should really tell blaire that reenrolled isn't a word. I know it's super cunty of me to point that out after such a profound and moving journal entry. I so hate to ruin the moment, but I feel like it's something she really needs to know.

I'm also tagging blaire for a meme.

  1. did you lose your virginity to jesus?
  2. how old were you?
  3. was your hymen already broken from horseback riding (wink-wink)?
  4. did you bleed all over jesus' cock?
  5. did you cum?
  6. if you had an opportunity to alienate more countries on a global scale, which countries would they be?
  7. when someone isn't listening to you beating the word of god into them, what guilt methods do you use?
  8. how come you've never put together a hellhouse? it's super up your alley and could really help you terrify people, especially kids, right into jesus' arms. I really think you should consider it. just to be clear, not hollywood hellhouse. the real baptist hellhouse. I was in hollywood hellhouse and I can tell you it was a very hedonistic event.
  9. how come you married a fagellah?
  10. you wear the kitchiest printed theme outfits. I was wondering if you shop at the quacker factory on qvc.

well, I gotta go. I sure do hope you hit my blog and post a meme next week. we'd all love to know so much more about you, blaire. you're kind of mysterious and shy.


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