turn up your sound

this is hilar! the kid from brooklyn. copy and paste into your browser:

mms://68.178.174.134/BigMan/BatDay.WMV

big mike is fuckin' hilar! you have to hit his site and stream his videos. he's too much!

what would jesus do?

I don't understand the whole, what would jesus do phenomenon. is it supposed to temper people from making hedonistic decisions? it seems so open to interpretation. like, if I lived my life by, what-would-jesus-do, I would assume that he would live my way.

here's an example:

I'm at the checkout line at whole foods and I have a quart of hot food from the hot food bar. the checkout girl says, "is that soup?" the soup is $6. otherwise they weigh it and it costs double.

what would jesus do?

I think if he were on a budget and was low on shekels, he'd say it was soup.

my sister's bachelorette soiree

so I am planning my sister's bachelorette party. it's this weekend, saturday night. I got her a big black cock cake. the girl should know what she's giving up :)

I am in a snarky snatchy mood.

chick music

I admit it, I listen to it. I also listen to eminem and tupac.

did you know

that soda gives you gallstones?? I read about that. I am so glad I don't drink it. rarely, I mean, but anything in moderation is fine. good reminder, ocd.

doll collecting

ok... I think collecting dolls is creepy. It just screams, cybil-sweet-baby-Jane. doesn't it?

who collects dolls? that's like collecting figurines and hallmark chachkeys.

judgmental? of course! it's still creepy as shit.

it's still raining. I am so afraid to go to my car. I'm terrified that it will be saturated in h20.

my sister is getting married next week. I wish beyond wish that I didn't have to do it. I wish it were a few months from now. I'm not ready.

I don't understand marriage.

the truth of the matter is that it makes me feel stuck and trapped, like I can't breathe.

this blog has made me realize that I am a therapist's dream come true. I'm like super patient.

I'm allergic to meat and seafood, but I love the smell of BBQ. I've never been able to eat the stuff. I wear leather.

my dog vomited this morning. the shtunk of vomit makes me so nauseas. hellnine vomit is even more disgusting.

can't wait to see my brothers next week or my bff, Katie.

ok, clearly, I'm in BIG avoidance mode. can you tell?

I've been up since the crack of my ass and I went to bed not five minutes earlier.

Insomnia sucks ass.