Katie Schwartz

this is hilar! the kid from brooklyn . copy and paste into your browser: mms://68.178.174.134/BigMan/BatDay.WMV big mike is fuckin' hilar! you have to hit his site and stream his videos. he's too much!

I don't understand the whole, what would jesus do phenomenon. is it supposed to temper people from making hedonistic decisions? it seems so open to interpretation. like, if I lived my life by, what-would-jesus-do, I would assume that he would live my way. here's an example: I'm at the checkout line at whole foods and I have a quart of hot food from the hot food bar. the checkout girl says, "is that soup?" the soup is $6. otherwise they weigh it and it costs double. what would jesus do? I think if he were on a budget and was low on shekels, he'd say it was soup.

so I am planning my sister's bachelorette party. it's this weekend, saturday night. I got her a big black cock cake. the girl should know what she's giving up :) I am in a snarky snatchy mood.

I admit it, I listen to it. I also listen to eminem and tupac.

that soda gives you gallstones?? I read about that. I am so glad I don't drink it. rarely, I mean, but anything in moderation is fine. good reminder, ocd.

ok... I think collecting dolls is creepy. It just screams, cybil-sweet-baby-Jane. doesn't it? who collects dolls? that's like collecting figurines and hallmark chachkeys. judgmental? of course! it's still creepy as shit. it's still raining. I am so afraid to go to my car. I'm terrified that it will be saturated in h20. my sister is getting married next week. I wish beyond wish that I didn't have to do it. I wish it were a few months from now. I'm not ready. I don't understand marriage. the truth of the matter is that it makes me feel stuck and trapped, like I can't breathe. this blog has made me realize that I am a therapist's dream come true. I'm like super patient. I'm allergic to meat and seafood, but I love the smell of BBQ. I've never been able to eat the stuff. I wear leather. my dog vomited this morning. the shtunk of vomit makes me so nauseas. hellnine vomit is even more disgusting. can't wait to see my brothers next week ...