Katie Schwartz

my mom is in the middle of a move. my friend crionaberry was telling me about a deep tissue massage she had this evening. so, when my mom called to discuss how sore she was, I said, ma, you should go get yaself fondled. I'm tired ---ok--- it's been a long fucking week. it was a slip o' the tongue. not a fantasy, creepies. my mom said, what the hell are you talking about? I said, ma, you know what I mean. a massage. go get a massage. she asked, and the fondling? I said, well that's really none of my business, now is it? we both howled. how-wled. I know. shut the fuck up, katie. all lips are sealed. good night, gracie.

joan crawford on love, love is like a fire, but you never know if it's going to warm your heart or burn down your house. as far as I'm concerned, she invented the word cunt. love ha. arthur miller on writing, to excel, to win out over anonymity and meaninglessness, to love and be loved, and above all, perhaps, to count . love him. donchya love the howard cosell play-by-play?! stanley tucci, to life and its many deaths . love him. you ever seen the imposters ? he wrote it. directed it and starred in it. putz. rent it. charles bukowski, what matters most is how well you walk through the fire . I love that man. edna st. vincent millay, it well may be that in a difficult hour, I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It well may be. I do not think I would . exquisite. just perfect. what a dame, huh?!

get tested. be smart. wear a condom. swallow familiar cum aids.org . my beloved queenies, please pay attention and stop with the bug chasing who is getting this meshugena disease? don't be a schmuck. review. world . usa . loving.

the premiere first edition of girlistic magazine is live! head on over. download. print and distribute. girlistic is a feminist feast! art. intellectually stimulating features, reviews and interviews. chach. sex advice. and... girlistic is graciously publishing an ongoing essay series I'm writing called, my vagina and me. check out the first installation, my vagina and me, seeing eye to v . run. read. loving.

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that when major news outlets such as the, New York Daily News , ABC News , Fox News (hate their fucking republican guts), MSNBC , Chicago Sun Times and the New York Post , are all tracking and headlining britney spears vagina, there's a serious problem. if you google, britney spears vagina , you get over 1,300,000 search results. if you google, britney spears nether region , you get around 11,000 search results. if you log onto technorati as I just did, you'll see that britney spears is a #1 search; leaving world aids awareness day so far in the dust, it's not even an afterthought. people are really going for it, aren't they? psychologists are literally allocating time to think about and speculate about why britney is on a vadge exposing tear. some say it's because she was married to a man who never loved her. yeah. ok. well. she may be the thickest tampon in the box, but I'd like to think she knew that going i...