Tuesday, October 10, 2006

oh, kiss my beige lippy jew cunt, fuckers!

who are the fuckers?

sinuses. I canNOT stop fucking sneezing no matter how many allergy shots I get or antihistamines I take. fuck. fuck. mother fuck.


the irony between louiejew and I right now is just a bit more than I can take at the minute.

jewcifer's medical expenses right now are way too much for one dame.

weight. weight. weight. I'm so fat right now that if you put sundial accessories on me, you could spin me and get an accurate reading. better yet, carve me, fly a lantern in my belly, spray paint me orange and what a perfect pumpkin I'd be.

I'm sending louie to camp this week (what an auschwitzy thing for a jew to say. the guilt). not wanting to at ALL. canyon view is a canine shangri-la. I used to love taking him. but, I am phobic he will choke. choking is my biggest in fear in life. he choked this year on a ball and almost died. they say facing your biggest phobia helps ease your fear whatever your fear is. they can kiss my freckled flappy lipped wannabe miracle of a vadge. cause that so ain't true.

loving ain't right now. it's that perfect blend of truck driving white trash and bible belt cow tipping teen.

that's it. I'm done. gotta go to work. argh. argh. argh.

ps::: if you don't know the origin of the image above... go away! kidding. but, you should know it.


Anonymous said...

Canyon View; that place looks like so much fun! My puppy deserves to go there... you know, if I lived in America....

Hope your sinuses clear up! SO annoying, I know.

Mountjoy said...

Fear of choking is just a manifestation of a subconscious fear of fellatio.

(Who the fuck needs that Freud dude when you have Mountjoy on tap, hey?)

katie schwartz said...

thnaks, spice... I bite my lip too!!!

you are sage, mount joy. truly! believe me, this isn't a cock sucking issue. and, on the heels of that, how freudian will this sound:::: when I was a kid, my father choked three times. big food issues in my family. anyway, that began my phobia and I've never been able to shake it. I don't eat certain foods because of it.

Mountjoy said...


I avoid oral contact with most things phallic, preferring to tup from the eminently more edible bearded cup. The worst choking issue there is an errant hair.

katie schwartz said...

mount joy, I'm kind of loving you hard right now.

katie schwartz said...

ps::: you're a bit of a trip, aren't you? definitely worth the fare, I'm sure!

Writeprocrastinator said...

" if you don't know the origin of the image above... go away! kidding. but, you should know it."

I know it well, having just purchased it this very summer (such a bargain!) from a man who had the oddest moustache, that seemed like it was going to fall off at any moment. And, he didn't have the deepest voice in the world.

It was the strangest thing, because he had a dog, just like Louie. And breasts, just like yours and...hey!

Dale said...

Stop sneezing! The power of Oprah compels you!


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