Katie Schwartz

Times are tough, no doubt about it, but we're do-gooders, so we want to make a difference in some small way, yes? Yes. I wanted to pass along a few things that made me feel good about participating in that you might be keen on, too. My good friend Amy Guth is sooo very close to reaching her fundraising goal for St. Judes Children's Hospital. " Folks we need to talk! My deadline for raising the bulk of funds for the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital Marathon & Half-Marathon is upon us and I'm close to meeting the immediate goal of $2,000. Say 13 of you donated $50? I'd meet the goal today ." What an awesome accomplishment, and for such a beautiful, necessary cause that has touched her very personally. Click over and let's help this fab dame out. Did you know that today is Free Mammography Day ? It is and I've linked you to some resources where you can find out how to get one. Thanks to my friend Roz, I am now looped. Missy Roz from Say it w...

Author of one of the most brilliant novels I have ever read, Three Fallen Women , Amy Guth , also one of my favorite people evah , is going to be at the Downtown Omaha Lit Fest this weekend. Read all about it here . Throughout the weekend, there will be events, writerly panel discussions, readings and so much more. Hit it, yo! Treat yourself to a weekend of literary loveliness. Please, how perfectly flawless. Run. Go. Now.

One of our favarella bloggers, Amy Guth is having a milestone birthday today, yo! Click on "ova" to The Mouth and wish that divine diva a very, very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY . May this year bring you happiness beyond your wildest dreams, exceptional health and everything your sweet heart desires. Wishingyou the happiest birthday ever . Love Jewgirl

" Fixx Reading Series super double feature, with readings this week and next!" Thursday, March 27th (today!) @ 7:30pm Larry O. Dean // Cris Mazza // Laura Van Prooyen AND, next week: Thursday April 3rd @ 7:30pm Shauna Compton // Jennifer Knox // Danielle Pafunda

Today while dishing with my accountant's assistant, I asked, "Can I fax my tax dish over instead of dropping it off?" He said, "Oh, sure, honey, no problem. Who is this?" I said, "Katie Schwartz." He said, "Fabulous! Fax it on over, HARRY." Admittedly, I was perplexed and said, "I'm not Harry, I'm Katie Schwartz." I kid you not, he said, "Yes, I know, Harry." Jaw dropped, so like a dumb ass, I asked, "Is there someone in the office with you who thinks you're dishing with a Harry ?" He said, "No, it's just me." I was so fuckin' irritated, I said, "WELL, I'M NOT HARRY. I'M KATIE." And he said, "Yeah, I know." Is it fucktard Monday?! For the love.... Again, I asked, "Why do you keep calling me Harry?" He said, "I don't know." THAT MADE ME SCREAM. HOW HILAR IS THAT?! Now, I'm wondering, do I have a huskyish, maley voice? I thought I...

Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....

First, the image above is from my good friends at one of my favorite reads, The Daily Pitchfork . Now, onto the dish... I don't know where to begin. What a month. Guthy is the greatest fucking editor I have ever had the privilege of working with (THANK YOU, DOLL). What an awesome, inspiring, enlightening experience working with her has been to edit my book. My book?! Do you believe?! I'm still plotzing. Everything will be wrapped up and ready to roll this week. I will be hocking youse ah'plenty. Baleedat, yo. Side Note: I'm listening to Midnight Train to Georgia... It always makes me think of my girls Bethy and Politits . I am grossly behind on my bloggy reading and writing. This will all be changing by Monday, I promise. I apologize for being a shitlogger. Let's not break-up, not when we've come this far and have so much more to do together. I noted that B-Spears is bipolar, Obama and Hills are neck and neck (I hope they run together), Huckabee is still a se...

Major dish beautiful babies. Amy Guth is launching Chicago's first Literary Festival and it's called... Drum roll, please... Pilcrow . Is that tits or what? Oh, yeah it is! If you're in Chicago from May 22nd-May 25th, come on ovah. Check out Amy's post about the festival and how it came to be: IF THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO TRY . Visit the Pilcrow website , to stay abreast of attendees, sponsors and events. Subscribe to Pilcrow's RSS feeds , too. Speaking of sponsors... Which one a'youse has chach and such, to donate? Come on, spill it. Guess what?! Ready? I'm on the attendee list. I'm fuckin' plotzing. My first scheduled reading is at Guthy's The Fixx Reading Series on May 22nd with diva Jami Attenberg . We love'ha work. She's got moxie. All of this fabulousness is hosted by the delish dame Amy . You must come! This event is going to be flawless squared. You know it and I know it.

So.So.So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Guess what?! I'M A FORTHCOMING TITLE. I've never been a forthcoming title. It's fuckin' tits, ahhhhkay. My essay collection is being published in the spring of 08' by So New Media , Amy Guth's publisher. It gets bettah, BFF Amy Guth is EDITING MY BOOK. I know! Are you plotzing and kvelling?! ME TOO. I'm beside myself. Don't ask. It's positively the most wonderful thing in the world. I am so excited. This Jewbroad is the luckiest dame on the planet. Guthy, thank you for bringing my collection to ya publisher and fah being the menschiest of menschy dames and oy where do I begin?! Crionaberry , we discussed... you know, my sweet. Thank you to the most supportive and divine writerly writer friends and fellow bloggers. Ah, you just don't know. When times are shitty, ya's are there. When they're great, you're there, too. You're the best community I have ever known. If I could stuff ya's inside my womb an...

As you know, Guthy is writing for Jewcy awwwl month. She's written some fabulous, funny and thoughtful posts about Jewchach, Madona and fasting. Be good boys and girls and read her entries. Comment galore. DIY Judaica and Such , An Open Letter to Madonna and To Fast or Not to Fast . I had no idea that fasting was such a hot topic. Guthy and the Jewcy readers made some really interesting points. Loved what Orieyenta said. That dame's got moxie. The Madonna post is FANTASTIC. It stirred quite a bit of controversy. You will love Adam Shprintzen's comments. They resonate. Check it out, peeps.

Super Jewey Beautiful Interview about Amy Guth on Jewcy . Run. Read. Now. Comment galore. Ah, such a smart, funny, delicious interview. Show your support. She's Guest Editing for a week!

sticky post until tamarah night, so scroll down AFTER and only AFTER you've read this! The Divine Diva bff Amy Guth is hosting the second Fixx Reading Series! You simply must attend. It will be fabulous. Check out the line-up below. The first reading last month was such a smashing, wild success . It was overflowing with peeps. Be sure to get there early. Run. Go. Now. Thursday, July 26th at 7:30pm The Fixx Reading Series Hosted by: Gutharoo The Fixx Coffee Bar 3053 N Sheffield Ave., Chicago The Line-up Charles Blackstone author of The Week You Weren't Here Rick Karlin author of Show Biz Kids Elaine Soloway , author of The Division Street Princess

Shalom Canadian lovahs... guess what, Guthykins is doing a reading in Salt Ste. Marie, Ontario Canada on Tuesday (tomorrow) at our boy bacon's coffee shop . are you plotzing?! I'm plotzing and kvelling. Here's the dish, now get out there and treat your soul to three fallen women. you will not regret it! it's a delicious and exquisite read. Tuesday, July 10th, 7pm Arcadia Coffee House (in conjunction with Uppercase Books) 819 Queen Street East Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario CANADA

listen up AUSTIN, TX and FORT WORTH, TX, muffins, you're in for a super jewey treat, amy guth is doing a reading of her fabulous book, three fallen women . if you haven't read it, for the love... it is so brilliant, so exquisitely written, do yourself a favor and read it! Wednesday, May 9th Boookwoman 7pm-ish 918 W. 12th St. (12th & Lamar) Austin, TX Monday, May 14th Sixth Street Live 7pm sharp! 2736 W. 6th Street Fort Worth, TX

you've read guth . you love guth . I know you want to wear guth . come on... don't be shy. now's your chance to guth yourself into a wild, heated frenzy! click on ovah and buy yaself some gorgeous guth goodies . GA HEAD.

tomorrow is friday the 13th... it's a lucky day. know why? it's our beloved big mouth's birthday ! click over to that broad, amy guth's blog and wish her the happiest birthday ever. happy birthday to you ! happy birthday to you ! happy birthday amy gu-uuu-uth happy birthday to youuuuuuu ! mazel tov on an incredible year. may this next year bring even more good health, happiness and unbridled success. hugs * kisses jewgirl

get your copy of three fallen women signed by the talented, inspiring and fabulous author, amy guth . schlep that tuchas to chicago: March 21st: The Book Cellar 7pm (with Elaine Soloway and Rick Karlin) 4736-38 N. Lincoln Ave. Chicago, IL watch and listen to three amazing authors read from their wonderful novels. oh, and, hello, get your books signed!!! if you haven't read elaine soloway's , the division street princess , read it! this broad is quite a dame. you will love her work! rick karlin is tits to the tenth power. check out his dishy read, show biz kids: growing up in hollywood's golden age .