Sunday, February 11, 2007

c-punch and katie's letter to leewee

Dear LeeWee,

I know you don't know me personally, but I'm Katie's BFF. She TOTALLY lets me read all the letters she sends to you, and I dry her tears when you ignore her in return. Why are you so hard on her, LeeWee? She tries so hard to be your friend and you just turn a blind eye again and again. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, LEEWEE? Ever ask yourself that?

leewee, the only reason I have the strength to write to you now and maintain my blog is because of cp's boundless generosity. I have gone through every virtual box of his kleenex. he has and continues to dry every single cyber tear of rejection. we are also very concerned about how anti-christian you're being. if jesus can throw a bone to a whoa, don't you think you can give a shout out to a jew? the man himself was a heeblette. that's something to get your prayer on about.

But I didn't mean to run on & on about Katie, fabulous as she is. (I heard she used to do herself up in the Blairsey hairstyle. So did I, but on me it looked more like the Blair Witch! HA HA HA!!!) Kristians like to laugh, don't they? :)

cp, I think we can tell her the truth. it'll be ok. last halloween, cp went as blair and I went as his lover, jo. I wore her signature tuff-girl leather jacket with matching leather motorcycle boots and a helmet. very butch. very hot. I mean hot, hot, HOT. cp was INSANELY SEXY! he had the most enviable long-blond-blair tresses and stilettos. he even managed to design a proper langley uniform. the skirt was a bit short. well, slutty really, BUT GOOD SLUTTY. you would've been so proud of us. we represented, yo!

Anyway Weezy, Katie and I just wanted to write to say "Hey Blairsey, what is the DEAL with this Mitt Romney running for President?" We're like "Omigod he's a MORMON! Ewwwwwwww!!!!!"

they don't believe in anything we stand for at all! are you as shocked and appalled as we are?

Celestial Underwear? (not be confused with adam and eve or adam and steve) I AM SURE!!!!! Weeza, in the name of JESUS we CANNOT LET THIS APOSTATE WIN! If we do, we can pretty much kiss the nation's spiritual integrity goodbye. I mean puuuuhleeease! Weeza, I just know you won't vote for someone who thinks there is more to the Holy Scriptures than just THE BIBLE!

the man has a point, girlfriend.

And what is with those other books they worship with?
The Pearl of Great Price? What kind of gay name is that for a bible, anyway? SPARE ME, I'M SURE!!!!

Anyhoo, Katie wants to say a few words now so I'll sign off. I'd type hearts & stuff if I could.

Love ya xxxxooooooooo,
ps: SWALCAKWS!!!!!

in closing, leepee, we really hope that you learned something today and that you begin to embody the true meaning of christianity.


and now for.... fartkisaf

fartkisaf: friday's fears and reminder that katie is a freak.... but on saturdays sunday this week because she's a forgetful bitch.

1. I know I'm just moving downstairs, but I have a lot to pack, organize and throw away. will I get it done in time? that's a rhetorical question.

2. a mixed bag of emotions. it's good, and peppered with that perfect dose of fear and neurosis we've all come to expect from sowlicious.

3. menses has begun as of 1PM today. all of my black pants are in the laundry or dry cleaners. I worry about leakage. it's a heavy flow this month. mind you, I'm grateful the egg's rollin'.

that's it for now. I'm trying to exercise restraint. you think it's easy? oy.

happy birthday daleiscious!

as bff cp noted, and with cupcakes, a big katie fave, it is one of our beloved and prolific blog buddies birthday today. schlep over to passion of the dale and wish our beloved bitch a happy birthday.

love, bitch


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