Friday, September 29, 2006

my vagina and me

my vagina and I got into a HUGE knock down drag out fight this morning.

I suspended her vibrator privileges a few days ago, so she decided to lead a revolt against me. she's threatening me with a yeast infection. what a snatch! so cunty sometimes, you know?

due to elevated horniness, she's been insatiable. it's becoming a problem. is it soo much to ask that she be a little sensitive to my needs?! I'm a very busy person. I don't have time to cater to her every moistened wish. I mean, gaahhhd. she can be so slutty sometimes, too. I'm so not like that. I'm far more reserved. I don't need it the way she does.

as always, I'm conflicted. I hate to censor her of course, or anyone else, but we have to learn to co-exist a bit better. donchya think? it can't always be about HER and HER needs.

when did vaginas corner the market on neediness?! *that isn't a fucking pun!*

save our

latest fears

each week, into my brain pops new or existing fears to add to or expound on my rolodex of agida.

you think it's easy being a neurotic chubby jew broad? it ain't. it's a lot of time, work and preperation.

my fears this week...

1: I never want to be a sloppy menstruator. the kind of dame who let's ruby flow wherever she damn well pleases.

2: fingernail cancer.

3: running out of menstrual pain medication.

4: being fat with se's for the rest of my fuckin' life.

5: upcoming blood test results.

6: louie's ginormous lump on his shoulder and ankle -oy- this is the mamabootzah of ahj.

7: being stuck. you know what I mean.

8: becoming incontinent

9: my uterus dropping and crashing my vaginal canal right along with it. and, a total inability to then see my womb as the fabulous accessory it can be!

10: that the creative juices are being sucked out of my brain and heart forever!

the only upside to insomnia is blogging. october is breast cancer awareness month. show your boobies for a cure!

when george bush cums

these are the things he probably says:

1: I'm way more of a god than jesus was.

2: four more years! four more years!

3: suck it harder, rummy, for' I bitch slap your sweet ass.

4: oh, condi, you da best dirty little secret I never had.

save women's boobies!

new fetishes

has jew hating become a fetish yet? I fear it's cumming.

great articles
jew review same sex marriage
frank rich's essay: the joy of gay marriage

show your titskeas for breast cancer awareness: bobbiethon!


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