Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Toilet Revolution

This lovely asspalace cost a mere 1.2 million dollars. It's being built by Sim Jae-duck, chairman of the World Toilet Association. I had no idea that an actual toilet association existed. Oh, but it super does, complete with a delightful anal stimulating photo gallery. There's even a world toilet college. Just what I always wanted, an advanced degree in shit. Outside of fetishists, who would dream of becoming a shit erector? They even have a section dedicated to toilet entertainment. WTA must think we're shittards. Every savvy shitter I know fills their bathroom with the latest and greatest in shitware.

Lucky us, they have games, too! Catch a shit and Toilet Trouble Quiz were topping my list until I discovered Bathroom Chemistry Quiz: Do you know what’s in your toilet? I digress, I'm a shittard. Hi. Keenly aware of all the anal mishigos that goes on in my porcelain goddess.

Here are some excerpts from the article Mr Toilet Nears Completion of Commode-Shaped House.

"Sim is building the two-story house set to be finished Sunday to commemorate the inaugural meeting later this month of the World Toilet Association. The group, supported by the South Korean government, aims no less than to launch a "toilet revolution," by getting people to open their bathroom doors for the sake of improving worldwide hygiene."

"The toilet revolution should start with talking about toilet issues freely," said Song Young-kwon, head of the organizing committee for the five-day conference that opens Nov. 21. The Seoul conference will be accompanied by a toilet expo featuring exhibits to excite the public about the cause: including a "Hansel and Gretel" bathroom made from cookies and candy that gives presents to children when they flush, and a "toilet gallery cafe" where people can sit on colorful commodes while drinking tea."

And what about for seniors? They get bupkas? I guess the gift of shit is gift enough.

Children can pee in Mother Theresa. There goes a few more future fuckable men on the planet. I wonder if the flushtone is Ave Maria. That should help in contributing to ailing peens everywhere. In case that fails, boys can pish into an alligator's mouth. Let's hope it growls and howls. No future peeny dysfunction writing on that wall.

After peeing on Mother Theresa's eyes and claiming it was an act of God, give the kid a sweet piece of ass to wash his hands in. His weepeen won't reach her in the from-behind-zone. Luckily, his nose will be smack dab in the center of her tuchas, thereby stirring his imagination of one day becoming a graduate of the World Toilet College.

And, finally, children.... The last excerpt worth mentioning from the article, "Occupants gain access to the roof balcony around the rim of the "bowl" by climbing up stairs through what would be a toilet drain - which is equipped to collect rain for some functions to conserve drinking water. The home is encased in smooth, white-painted steel that appears similar to the ceramics used to make toilets."

After rimming your way inside, he'll be serving tossed salad with unpurified toilet water. I sure hope I get an invite!


design by