Thursday, October 12, 2006

1st Annual Blair Warner Pussy Eating Submission-2

that divine creature, ribbed for your pleasure has submitted a FABULOUS essay for the 1st annual blair warner pussy eating contest and it's a doozy!!!!

I may not have the cachet Jesus has, but I am the best pussy eater in the world because I treat cunnilingus like a religion. God made fingers for feeling, and penises for peeing, but he put a tongue in my mouth just so I can chow down on your lips of love.

That’s right, Blair! Nancy McKeon may have given you a first taste of tongue love, but her Sapphic advances cannot compare to the legendary Mountjoy Mouth. It isn’t just the skill, it’s the enthusiasm that will have you in spasms. The devilish look in my eyes, as you peer down over your expansive pubic thatch (nice girl’s don’t trim "down there" do they?) to see just my eyes and forehead, hard up against your crotch. That feel of my warm breath on your thighs, as I trace my tongue up the inside of you legs towards the promised land. Let your Garden of Eden erupt with a river of love as I help unlock the pleasures of your Rosebud, so you can take a sled ride to heaven. And heaven it will be, because my mouth music will be a religious experience for you: as those thighs of yours clamp down around my ears when I’ve taken you over the edge, I know the muffled sounds I will be hearing are you crying out "Oh God! Oh Lord! Jesus H. Christ!". Amen.

(just be sure to wash well down there and use a good douche, okay? Some of your religious fuckers have enough funk down there to leave a Shroud of Turin on your gusset, you know…)

 

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