Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I'm tagging YOU!

shalom, jewlcious and non-jewlicious peeps. how is everyones jewsday going? wp meemed me and I am meeming... see below. this is a personal meem. like, it asks personal q's. could be fun. who the fuck knows. why not. worth a twirl, donchya think?








DO YOU SNORE?
as if my life depended on it!

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
that's a creepy question, comparable to someone saying, I want to make love to you.

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
choking.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
yes. I was insanely creative. loved to create legolands. but loved to spin yarns even more.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REALITY TV?
hate it. it takes jobs away from writers. it's also fabulous. if your life sucks ass, reality tv proves your life is not half as bad as someone elses.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
incessantly.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
duh. chubby hairy jewbaca. what's not to love?!

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
I'm not sure. right now it is. though I vacillate. it would be lovely to be in love, but I would hate to be loved by someone I really didn't want loving me.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
I have a laptop. as if that's somehow cooler than a desktop. I mean, shit. how lame am I right now?! lappy toppy is gray. keyboard is black.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
I would sing if it didn't cut into berating my fat fucking self.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no. I'd like to. if I were thinner and had supple, small, perky boobs with topshelf nipples. definitely!

ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I can eat anyone under the table. such a gift. I can also exercise shameless fart control. I just choose not to.

WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
wyoming. peru. argentina. cuba. puerto rico. that wasn't a plural question?

CAN YOU SWIM?
like a fish.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
no. no desire to. do I suck ass?

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I do. but only when it's convenient.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
I'm a biter. chill. I don't bite cock. just lollies.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can barely say the alphabet from a-z.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I love the whirring sound of electric. but you've just given me a fabulous idea for a shame free vibrator.

WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
it's disgusting. I don't know how anyone can shoot a gun. it makes me sick. really sick. I don't want to be around it. but, I wear leather. people eat animals.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I don't think so. I don't want to get married. I fear commitment. I'd love to live with a man and share my life with him. I don't believe in one-soulmate. I think people you fall in love with come into your life at different times to fulfill different needs. needs change and so do relationships. is that so horrible?

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
it's horrific. I write like an infant being gang banged by legos.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
everything. it sucks. meat. seafood. pollen. mold. bounce. cats. dogs with hair. grass. the list is far too jewbarrassing.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, I LOVE YOU?
I say it every single day, to my family and my dog.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
sometimes. it's guilt related. or an old memory. or wishing the person I was there supporting would marry someone else. stop judging. I didn't say I was well adjusted.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't eat eggs. disguised eggs. but, if I do eat eggs, they have to be scrambled and severely dry.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
just the ones with face lifts. or maybe it's just the blondes in los angeles. although, maybe they ain't so dumb after all. they have managed to become trophy wives or maintain first wife status. shouldn't we respect that?

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
I really don't know. it's either curled up underneath something. or it's mia forever.

WHAT TIME IS IT?
3:37 in the afternoon.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
many. quats. katiegirl. kkkkkatie. schwartzy. schwartz. louie. kates.

IS MCDONALDS DISGUSTING?
love the smell. can't eat the food. it's a flesh haven.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
an hour ago.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers. in a bath I can't wear my shoes. I also feel way too naked for way too long.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
yes.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I do. and my back scratched. what am I, a fuckin dog?

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
sometimes. but, I love the silence. or the sounds depending on the city I'm in. I also love the secrecy of night.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
food. cigarettes. guilt. shame. fear. self loathing. all the good stuff.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
creamy.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
that's wrong on every level and way too hippie dippy.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
once. I hope never to repeat it.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
I'm not sure. define drug free? caffeine is a drug, no? I'm a coffee ho.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
please... I've slept through tornados and woken up without a roof.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
brown.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
no. but, I'm working on it.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
with my mother, my sister and my youngest brother.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
are you new?

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
my vagina.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
just my parents. I was a kid. their wallets were out with what seemed like pots of cash, so yeah. I boosted a few bucks.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
no. but, I can ski.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
I'm a jew. we don't camp. we do outdoor things in the daytime and stay in hotels.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
shamelessly. love to laugh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yes.

ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
and woman's.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
of course. I've had a starter marriage. big fan of divorce. everyone should give it a twirl at least once.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I can barely dance.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
I do. it makes me sad.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
there's a nice chill in the air. it's refreshing. reminds me just a tiny bit of fall.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
cabbage salad with slivered almonds. so damn good.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
no. it makes my nails sweat and it feels like their suffocating.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
one. he's a prick. I have no business liking him. if I dropped dead tomorrow, he wouldn't give it a second thought. so, what am I wasting my time for? he feeds my fear of commitment. what's not to love?! he's also smart and funny. total dick. hate his fucking guts.

WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
dashers. dashers and dashers. and, 1-800 dentist.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
what is american eagle?

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
daleish got me back into portishead. the song: glory box

WHO ARE YOU TAGGING?
daleish <-- fabulous! loved it. read it.
crionaberry
vocab
mullet boy
drug monkey
freak and a whore
al sensu <-- I know. you hate me. skirmish of wit
mars
self help
ribbed for your pleasure <-- epic. dear.
mister mister <-- it's pretty far up my ass, but hey, if you feel like a cross country trek, knock yaself out. you're in good company.
girlie guth <-- I know it's a pain in the ass. thank you for saying yes.

 

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