Saturday, November 25, 2006
Posted by Katie Schwartz at 11:37 AM
I don't understand what it means when christians say they have a personal relationship with jesus. I was christian blog hopping this morning ... for a change. shut the fuck up, and happened upon this doozy.
"I went to a tragic funeral today. No, not the most tragic one I have ever been to. BUT, they have the eternal hope that they will see their son again as they have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ... Their beautiful son also had a personal relationship with Jesus too and is in heaven right now... The most tragic funerals are when you know the people do not have that hope I have mentioned. Be thankful we have our children every minute as they are really just on loan to us from God "
the loan from god thing is creepy as all fuck off. but that's another post.
anywho, it's not the first time I have seen the personal relationship buzz fraze used (I know, it's phrase), but I'm seeing it more frequently. it's always struck me as arrogant, presumptuous and lacking in substance. I couldn't figure out why, so i hit dictionary.com and looked it up.
personal relationship: a relation between persons.
flowing along the crazed christian pov, jesus is god. he's not a person. he's not a man. he's a hero, a savior and only someone seen in death. yes, I know he's a chatty cathy and speaks to each zealot on a daily basis, guiding them. leading them. GOT IT.
but he ain't never described as no man.
so, how in the fuck can you have a personal relationship with jesus when in fact a personal relationship is between persons. not god and persons.
I don't feel like finishing this. *cbb
right now, you know what I'm doing, avoiding.
I've been running errands and jewcifer since the crack o' dawn.
I have a million things to do today + write.
*cbb = can't be bothered
Posted by Katie Schwartz at 11:25 AM
1. Popcorn or candy?
I am a buttered popcorn whore. the smell of movie popcorn makes my mouth salivate and my vulva lips twitch louder than a school of summer crickets (I know they don't travel in packs). especially with a sugary soda back. oh, please. hello. divine.
2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
a clockwork orange. never seen it. I have guilt about that. I do want to see it. it's like warriors. you have to see it.
3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
I don't know. it seems like such an impossible feat to just be nominated, that's not enough?
4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe.
one? as if. grace kelly's wardrobe in, to catch a thief. or katherine hepburn's in, bringing up baby.
5. Your favorite film franchise is....
bad boys. I love the chemistry between will smith and martin lawrence. it's an exhilarating, funny ride. will smith's talent is inspiring + he's hilar squared.
6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
larry charles. pedro almodovar. stanley kramer. mel brooks. nora ephron. neil simon. woody allen. michael moore
ok. I chose eight. I suck.
these writers have left an indelible imprint on pop culture past, present and future. to me, their work is and was, smart and funny. necessary and timeless. these writers create(d) stories that had depth of character. a whole lotta soul. a gazillion layers of humor and insane smarts.
tons and tons of fat pellet apps with a giant salad. stuffed five cheese mushrooms. mini homemade cornmeal crust pizzas. puff pastries overflowing with brie, asparagus, garlic and pinenuts. roasted thai peanut sauce skewered veggies. a goat cheese salad with champagne vinny and spicy walnuts. spinach risotto croquettes.
for dessert, mini pies and strawberry shortcakes infused with whipped cream and a baked pear upside down cake with vanilla ice cream.
super fly, well managed, coma worthy fat.
7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
electrical tape their phone to their ear and make them listen to fran drescher circa the nanny for 24 hours straight.
8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
hi. ripley. she's got a hero complex. she would save my fat ass.
9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
the color purple, when celie and her sister were being ripped apart. when celie's baby was taken from her. when sofia was being beaten. terrifying and heartbreaking.
10. Your favorite genre (excluding "comedy" and "drama") is....
I can't say comedy? slapstick. spoof. dark. do they count? I love dark. noir. documentaries. suspense and mystery.
11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
I'm with wp on this in terms of written scripts. I would team unproduced writers who had written scripts with produced writers to rewrite or punch up their material and co-produce their films. I would also implement an unproduced writers program to get writers working. in my opinion when you have no credits, agents aren't always as valuable a resource to a writer as someone who is actually in the position of producing you.
12. Bonnie or Clyde?
burns and allen. hepburn and tracy. hepburn and cary grant. billy crystal and jack palance. I could go on for days... you can't have one without the other.
13. Who am I tagging to answer this survey?
I've already done this.
14. If Jesus were to submit a synopsis of a documentary about life in America since 9/11, what would his pov be? ::: not a joke question. I'm really curious.
in painstaking detail, jesus would expose the zealots, conservatives and fascists, both personally and politically that abuse his name to further their own agendas.
ps: if you haven't seen the movie, live flesh by pedro almodovar, see it. it's so brilliant. so is, all about my mother. actually, everything almodovar has written is. rent. now. have you never seen, women on the verge of a nervous breakdown?! it's his most mainstream flickarooney.
Posted by Katie Schwartz at 8:20 AM