today when louie and I went to the pet store to score some treats. I was all hopped up on frustration and angst. big time. he asked for my signature, the clerk, you know. I signed. he said, "thank you, MRS. SCHWARTZ." I shamefully wailed, "I'm not a MRS. and I don't want to be a MRS. I don't want to get married. it's not for me. I don't have to be a MRS. to afford treats for my dog. I can do it all by myself. and I can't BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD JUST HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME MRS." he turned red. the customer behind him; his jaw dropped. I glared at him and said, "that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian, ya know." before skulking away, I said, "let's pretend none of this happened!" I am soooooo ashamed....