chapter six is published!!!

log onto, I blew the president and read chapter six, appealing to your randy republican...

shame on me!

today when louie and I went to the pet store to score some treats. I was all hopped up on frustration and angst. big time.

he asked for my signature, the clerk, you know. I signed. he said, "thank you, MRS. SCHWARTZ."

I shamefully wailed, "I'm not a MRS. and I don't want to be a MRS. I don't want to get married. it's not for me. I don't have to be a MRS. to afford treats for my dog. I can do it all by myself. and I can't BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD JUST HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME MRS."

he turned red.

the customer behind him; his jaw dropped.

I glared at him and said, "that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian, ya know."

before skulking away, I said, "let's pretend none of this happened!"

I am soooooo ashamed....

great band

deadman. great music. super mudfuckeree. you can just feel the hempseeds.

I was just thinking...

going super big potty can be quite a disappointment if things don't come out the way you want them too.

reflections

I was looking at my reflection in the mirror and I have way too much face. where did my cheekbones go?

last night, I bought weight watchers ice cream bars -- yeah, clearly I won't be doing that again. I ate the entire box.

I also think I had a conversation with someone at 4am. I don't remember. I talk in my sleep. let's hope she, me, didn't divulge any secrets.

my sister's wedding is in 10 days. I'm still fat.

her bachelorette party is this saturday night.

nicole's keywords

ok... you have to hit nicole criona's blog and see her latest post about the keywords her blog is coming up on. it is sooo HILAR!!!