Katie Schwartz

You know you're white trash when you see your apartment manager walking by your window (in between apartment buildings) and you yell, "Hey, can I give you my rent check for this month?" He responds by saying, "Yah--Chaaaakay." You say, "Do you want me to hand it to you through the hole in my screen, or do you want to come to my front door?"

Oh, I lah'me some white trash God fearing Christian gossip. Jamie Lynn Spears is 16-years-old and knocked up. Fuck me around the corner with a giant Cross and a thorn hat. The shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. For the love of God, child, HAVE AN ABORTION. You people are done procreating. Use a condom and slam some foam up your flange. Turn that womb into a war zone. Would it kill you to have an abortion? You are a CHILD. Why isn't her mother encouraging her to have a fucking abortion?! My favorite quote from the article is what mama trash said about Jaymalyn's pregnancy, " I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's never late for her curfew." Come'on, you're white trash, you know better. You can still make curfew and get your fuck on, mama. Ain't nobody know that betterd'n you. You done got yurself all knocked up when you was 16'n all. What a dumb ass thing to say, "Jamie Lynn is never late for curfew". How fuckin' stu...

I have had a truly white trash day. no. seriously. you see, there are oversights that are tolerable, excusable even, and a handful that I have deemed unacceptable for me and me alone. I am sure you all can relate to those few things that simply can't happen under your watchful eye. right? so, my white trash day. I was working from home and in the zone, when, POOF the lights went out. gee, that's odd. I ran into the hallway and knocked on a few neighbor's doors. do you have power? why yes, fehatty, we do . ok, snatcharella, no need to lord your happy-power-suckage over me. gaaaaaaaaaaaahd. I called the power company. there was a massive wait due to high call volume. I could rest easy, obviously my power wasn't turned off. whatever, trasharella, you know where this is going and I know where this is going. it's far too depressing. at the risk of sounding annoyingly cliche, fat ass forgot to pay her fucking bill so they temporarily interrupted her service. note: I fi...