Katie Schwartz

so, have you bought amy's book, three fallen women , yet? what are you waiting for? a personal invitation? consider this, that! amy guth is fabulous. funny. and one hell of a writer. she's also got a mascot for her book tour . it's hilar squared and most befitting. with august coming to a close, the countdown to the september 10th interview has begun::: amy guth, the wise crackin' feminist behind three fallen women

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as I was installing another encyclopedia this afternoon, I decided to read the packaging. know what it said? happy period I can't remember the last time I said to my sister, "guess what day it is?!" and she gleefully shouted, "oh my god... you're menstruating. yay! happy period, katie girl" like we should break out the cupcakes and candles, singing, "happy period to you. happy period to you. happy period dear katie. happy period to you." where's my fucking gift? I'm bleeding. apparently it's an occasion. I want my fucking gift, hallways.

I started menstruating at 8pm. I was minding my own craving-free-business when all of a sudden, whoosh, I was menstruating! quite frankly, I'm a little pissed. where the fuck were the uncontrollable-reduced-to-tears, salt fantasies or the heart palpitating sugar cum dreams. where was the life sucking exhaustion?! not a mood swing in sight. no rage. no crying. nothing. it was la-de-da - PERIOD! what the fuck? am I the new face of pms?! is this the future of menses? cause I really need some fuckin' continuity in my life right now and I really don't feel like adapting to yet another major life change without any forewarning or discussion. I had no encyclopedias. no gingerale. no salted tops. no painkillers. I was completely unprepared for the circus act to be in town. the sneak attack rags are always womb hostage cramp killers with those lovely random jolts of snatch pain that make your eyes water and your body go fetal. other then that, it was an, eh, day. I didn't get as...