Tuesday, February 20, 2007

hate mail part II

remember that hate mail post a few weeks back from vd? she emailed me again. here's what she said:

Unfortunately I have been out of town.

I do understand what anti-Semitism is and people like you are the cause of it. Hate definitely breeds hate and from the looks of your blog you are one of the most hateful people I have come across in a long time. If you demean a religious figure such as Christ, you are striking out at all Christians, not just evangelicals.

she couldn't just call me fat?I forwarded her email to a few friends and to my parents. they were quite perplexed. you see, I've never been called hateful in my life. wait. could she be confusing me with the white power xanga blog ring?! DUMB ASS. I'm demeaning christ?! please... I got nothin' but respect for his philosophies and teachings. if anyone is demeaning him, it's the religious reich, abusing his good name and misinterpreting the foundation of what he stood for to suit your own damn purposes: censorship-inequality and injustice for all.

vagina confession

I love the song home to me, josh kelly. you have to download it at itunes. go for it, barbie! get your vadge on.

cable meat

I'm not the power slut I once was. it's far more interesting to be slutty and whoreish with one man that you're crazy about.

yes, it's true, I compartmentalize men. datebles are fiercely intelligent, make me laugh my ass off and floss. I don't have a physical type in that realm. meat for the week, well, keep reading...

when you're a single broad, you get hungry and you want a snack from time to time (meat for the week). I do so enjoy a hearty blue collar meal in workman's boots with calloused hands and thick forearms. a sweaty brow pretty much puts me over the edge.

ps: don't you go thinking I'm some tool belt chasing tessie now, cause I ain't.

my cable boy was definitely nosh worthy. the problem, he could not shut his fuckin' pie hole for five fuckin' minutes. he wasn't the sharpest sweetener in the bin, so he laughed at everything. his timing wasn't even off, it was just wildly inappropriate, which would've been turn off enough. but no, he couldn't stop himself. he took me through every single trade school escapade he'd had.

he got my box on, but left me dry as a bone.

bitch is back.... sorta

Shalom beautiful babies,

I’ve surpassed exhausted only to graduate into the likes of a 90s wannabe-SUV Subaru with a burgundy exterior and a beige cloth interior with that look-at-me-bitches bumper-to-bumper taupe trim piping.

I am so ready to be horizontal, I can’t even tell you. I’ve slept maybe 10 hours total since Saturday. insomnia— moving— day yob… writing? I wish. I need more time to write. Argh. I’ve been experiencing an outpouring of words. love that, it’s very channeling via fingertips. I am craving more writing time, so you bet your sweet fat/thin/chuvvy ass I’ll make it!

The move was great. new digs are fabulous. Will post pre-chach photos and post-chach photos once I figger out how to use my sister’s digi. I only shoot on a vinty 35MM. photography is the only area of my life I won’t go high tech. super dinosaur. Super stupid, I know. one casualty, a 50 cent vinty pink serving dish not worth anything more than I paid for it, but I loved it.

I got the strangest email from a fellow requesting a photo of the freak show lippy mess that is my cunt. Please, I don’t even want my gyno seeing my puss at the minute, so I ain’t sharing it. capisce! Coco’s cavernous taco isn’t enough for him?! she has lips for days. that’s gotta preoccupy a person for weeks.

I can report that my creepy neighbor has been entertaining many of the single hall crawlers. There’s a trio in the building that spend every fucking night flitting through the hallways, smoking in the alley racing in and out of each other’s apartments. it’s so college dorm. Did I mention that they’re in their 40s? they’re experiencing a renaissance, I get it. but, the cackling and, does he like-like me or like me? will he call? Did he call? Did you like get an invite to that party? You totally have to take me. I get my hair done at that like overly-priced-hair-salon, you so should too. so what, he drives a Mercedes. Have you met so-and-so? I will so totally introduce you. like OMG. OMG.

Not to be a dishy cunt rag, but what self respecting dame in her 40s wants to speak in severely non-age appropriate slang? Is that hot? There’s a HUGE DIFFERENCE between mocking age appropriate slang and competing with the tweeners of the world, yes? yes. yes?

Haglette stool watch is behind us, knock wood.

my apt now looks out onto the street, it’s very bright, airy and open. when my sister rolls up (notice the mock), or out of her apartment, she always shouts, KATIE. Of course I yell back, HEY, KER. HOW YOU DOIN? STOOP IN 20? Full conversations are had. The memories flooding back, I can’t even begin to tell you. it’s our little slice o’ east coast heaven. I figger we have at least another week or two before someone kvetches about the noise level. People are so sensiteevo out here. Dude! (mock again. pay attention).

So not in the mood to work today. would love a good nap. Waiting for cable. OMG. OMG. OMG (mock). I was ready to bend time warner over and fuck them up the ass with a Christmas tree on Saturday. I was hoppin like a frenzied crack whore in dire need of a fix. Those bitches were supposed to show up between 1 and 5. I called at noon to confirm. Hello! Internet access, television. come on, we all know the importance of this particular install. At 1:30, I get a message on my bb that THEY WERE HERE and I wasn’t. those wretched vileenas, I WAS HERE! Nobody fucking called or buzzed me. this phone was strapped to my pussy. I didn’t let it out of my site for 5 fucking minutes. FUNNY, everyone else managed to call and get through, sa how come they didn’t?!

Bunch o’ bitches.

They better show up today between (8-noon). It’s 8:30 and bupkas. Oy, the ahj, I’m telling you, girl. oooh. If they don’t, hell hath no fury like this snatch in need. THAT’S ALL’S I’M SAYIN’

Ps: our beloved and most poetic wp and my online bff has lost his g-ma. It’s very sad and he’s very blue. please go and send him a missive filled with love and support.

I’m off like a prom dress to stalk the building or hijack a time warner truck and drag his ass back to my house for an install.


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