Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
- danny bonaduce penis and danny bonaduce's penis: One post and now I'm the bondaduce teen peen queen?!
- coco fishnet and coco fishnet dress: I post about her split knish, not her fishnets
- vintage pussy: vinty whore, yes. geriatric porn fan, no.
- christian domestic discipline: OCD about that, sweetie
- john mayer jewish: Is he one of us?
- Katie Schwartz: I would hope so. I'm disappointed nobody searched for cunt and found my blog.
- thyroid: Good. Good. Really good.
- pussy eating contest: wrong blog. I run vadgelip contests
Thank you all so much for your incredible kindness, support and generosity. Ah, ya's had me kvelly and teary with your wonderful comments and delishmails. A million thanks just doesn't cut it. Dildos? Vibrators? Cock rings? I guess a fruit basket won't make the cut after that, huh?! THANK YOU!!!
Friday, November 16, 2007
So.So.So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Guess what?! I'M A FORTHCOMING TITLE. I've never been a forthcoming title. It's fuckin' tits, ahhhhkay. My essay collection is being published in the spring of 08' by So New Media, Amy Guth's publisher. It gets bettah, BFF Amy Guth is EDITING MY BOOK. I know! Are you plotzing and kvelling?! ME TOO. I'm beside myself. Don't ask. It's positively the most wonderful thing in the world. I am so excited. This Jewbroad is the luckiest dame on the planet.
Guthy, thank you for bringing my collection to ya publisher and fah being the menschiest of menschy dames and oy where do I begin?!
Crionaberry, we discussed... you know, my sweet.
Thank you to the most supportive and divine writerly writer friends and fellow bloggers. Ah, you just don't know. When times are shitty, ya's are there. When they're great, you're there, too. You're the best community I have ever known. If I could stuff ya's inside my womb and show you how much I appreciated you, I would. But, you'd have to fly in via my cunt. I say that like it's a bad thing. What am I blogtarded?!
Dear Gentle Readers of All the Way from Oy to Vey,
Katie has generously offered to host this week's episode of "The Mama Gin Files." I was unable to post it on the front page of Coaster Punchman's World for fear of retribution by Poor George, who forbade me from publishing the video. However, since the trials and tribulations of living with Mama Gin is my story too I feel altogether entitled --- at least as long as I don't get caught.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Yesterday, I started menstruating and got good news. Today, I was cramp free and flowing a'plenty and I got the BEST FUCKING NEWS EVAAAAH. I will loop all of ya's shortly. I have a few phone calls to make and e-stalks to send. You know how you do. This weekend, I'll be spilling like nobody's bizola. All's I can say is The Kid's an angel and he's really looking out'fah his mama.
Posted by Katie Schwartz at 5:41 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Let me tell you why I love him so hard for this, he's creating a romantic masturbatory experience and sharing it with the world. The visuals are fabulous. I imagine he dims the lights. Stands in front of the mirror and slowly takes off his shirt, smirking at his reflection and gushing at the image of himself. He watches himself jerk off and cum into each rosebud. It's just a hunch, ahhhkay. According to rumor, his cock is otherworldly huge, like vadgey run for your life huge.
Speaking of cocks, check out today's spam headline that came in my box: stimulate a tremendous shlong Katie. Spammers might not know my gender, but at least they know I'm a Jew. Props, children, props.
You must, must, must read Guthy's latest 6S, Juniper Place, it's an excerpt from her second novel and it is so beautifully written. You'll fall madly in love with this character in just six small sentences. Run. Read. Now.
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Fixx Reading for this month has been thoughtfully moved forward as to not get lost in the shuffle. So, that means that you can get your lit fixx this Thursday, November 15th @ 7:30pm with this month's guests: John Sheppard author of Small Town Punk and Renee Rosen author of Every Crooked Pot Please note that due to various winter holidays, there will be no reading in December but a stunningly awesome January event, to be sure.
This Thursday, November 15th, don't miss Amy Guth's The Fixx Reading Series!
Here's the dish from Ames, pay attention, children. That's your cue to be good listeners. That was my big teacher moment. I've always wanted to have one, I just envisioned it would be with a man... Wait, I'm getting sidetracked - FOCUS, PLEASE.
You heard the broad, get your Fixx, peeps. Great authors. Great host. What's bad?! Bupkas that's what. Run like a dawg this Thursday night.
The Fixx Coffee Bar
3053 N Sheffield Ave.
The Fixx Reading for this month has been thoughtfully moved forward as to not get lost in the shuffle. So, that means that you can get your lit fixx this Thursday, November 15th @ 7:30pm with this month's guests: John Sheppard author of Small Town Punk and Renee Rosen author of Every Crooked Pot
Please note that due to various winter holidays, there will be no reading in December but a stunningly awesome January event, to be sure.
Boost my button, the one on the right lapel of my bloggy, the typewriter. Hey, I'm not a fuckin' designer. I'm a writer for crissakes. Whadya expect?!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The Jewish Reconnection Project is spearheaded by Todd Schechter.
Todd said, "The video is the first in a web-only mini series I produced called the Jewish Reconnection Project. It shows young Jews in New York and Jerusalem talking to each other and sharing how their Judaism affects their lives. It's meant to give viewers a sense of the diversity of Jews around the world and to let college age people express their own ideas about Judaism. Ultimately, we hope that helping disparate groups of Jews understand each other will make for a stronger, healthier Jewish community. New episodes will come out every Wednesday for the next six weeks."
It's a six part series that you can view on their site or over at YouTube (links below). I've posted the first installment Chance for Peace. The other installments are Morally Damaged, Our Promised Land, Jewish Enough, Necessary Criteria and A Place to Call Home.
I watched the videos (5-6 minutes a pop. Ya'can't spare a half-hour?) I'm joining the Shmooze Group. You should, too. Pushy enough?! To learn more about The Jewish Reconnection Project and Todd's vision click here. Ga'head.
The videos are so well done and so interesting to watch. Some views you'll share, others you might not, but the project works because you feel connected.
Mazel Tov, Todd. Beautiful work.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Children can pee in Mother Theresa. There goes a few more future fuckable men on the planet. I wonder if the flushtone is Ave Maria. That should help in contributing to ailing peens everywhere. In case that fails, boys can pish into an alligator's mouth. Let's hope it growls and howls. No future peeny dysfunction writing on that wall.
After peeing on Mother Theresa's eyes and claiming it was an act of God, give the kid a sweet piece of ass to wash his hands in. His weepeen won't reach her in the from-behind-zone. Luckily, his nose will be smack dab in the center of her tuchas, thereby stirring his imagination of one day becoming a graduate of the World Toilet College.
Friday, November 09, 2007
This broad exploited and perverted laughter. It was an atrocity. She couldn't be stopped. She laughed mid-bad-joke and at no-joke. She abused laughter, reviled it and stripped it of integrity. I am appalled, shaken and disgusted.
PS: This bag'a bones keeps landing easy-on-the-eyes peen and with a laugh gone so shamefully awry. Oy vey.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Oy, so much to say. Ahhhkay-- my darling Virgo (love'ha), hooked me up with a menses link that seriously took my wig off today. You know what a menstrual maven I am.
Metaformia, A Journal of Menstruation and Culture. When I logged on, it was love at first sight. I needed this today (thank you, Virg). Can I just tell you that Metaformia is a lip smackin' literary menses feast for the soul. There are articles, essays and poems. The poem I read today was so perfect. The blood we don't discuss, the blood that gets no love. Run. Read. Now: All Blood is Menstrual Blood by Judy Grahn.
I started linkdating VeryHotJews today. Super Jewey noshables. Run. Read. Now.
My father sent me a facebook friend request. It was sweet and funny in a new-millennium-dad-like-sort-of-way.
My darling DrugNazi (love him), sent me a snippet of Christian dish (thank you, bubbie) that made no fuckin' sense to me and seems like very anti-zealy behavior.
The Christian Nudist Convocation (CNC) Our name summarizes what we're all about: Christian - CNC events are first and foremost Christian events. We seek to honor God through the Lord Jesus Christ. That is our primary motivation. Nudist - Secondarily, we affirm the goodness of our bodies exactly as God created them. Convocation - Finally, we believe in the value of gathering as likeminded people for mutual encouragement and fellowship.
Whatever happened to that part in the zealy bible about, oh, you know, what is that again? Right... maaahdesty, maaahdesty, maaahdesty. Translation: Don't be struttin' your slut in front of no mans unleth-he-ya'huthband. And, mens don't be lettin' the kettle and tea bags shwing in the wind for her to see. gluttonous, hypocritical, bush votin', gun totin', "g" droppin' whooa's all of em.