Katie Schwartz

MonkeyStud might have meemed me. I think he did, though I'm not sure. I know, I'm a fucktard. It's Sunday, can I get a pass? Thanks. 1. Five names you go by a) Katie b) Louie c) Schwartzy d) Jewgirl e) Quatz 2. Three things you are wearing right now a) Sweatshirt b) Sweats c) Keen shoes 3. Two things you want very badly at the moment a) (this is MonkeyMucker's answer and quite honestly, I can't think of a better one. He said exactly what I feel) for Bush and Cheney to be led from the White House in handcuffs and then tried for their crimes against humanity b) Great results tomorrow, resolution finally and no new issues. 4. Three people who will probably fill this out a) Fran I Am b) Bethy c) Cormac Brown d) Bubbsie (Yes, I can count, thanks. I just hunched on 4) 5. Two things you did last night a) A deep and rewarding conversation w/my ma, one of those life lesson convo's that I wouldn't trade for all the bagels in Brooklyn. It was that good, my friends. b)...

guthalicious tagged me, too, for an 8 things you don't know about me meemish. have you read her meme ? it's hilar squared. run. read. now. the rules for said meemish can be found here . 8 things you don't know about me I lost my virginity in sonoma my freshman year of college. don't feel sorry for me, I was a slut long before the hymen split. I got caught fucking in the marin headlands in a bunker. I emailed my first blow-job. he emailed me back. he had no recollection of the event. he became a bit of a crack addict. awww. and he was such a nice jewish boy, too. we keep in touch from time to time. I had sex on a trampoline in durham, england. I love bahbra's duets. it's a shortcoming, I know. I love women and I wish more women loved women. I meet far too many women who don't love or appreciate women and it makes me a very blue jew. I loathe pussies. I have commitment issues. I am tagging. vonneguts asshole . the daily pitchfork . creepykins . cpunchman . da...

though my blog will never be the recipient of the below gold seal, I still feel that it's my duty to report on all things zealot. the calling is deep for me, like inside my soul deep, so I will forge onward even though I will never be recognized for the great work I do with a beautiful stamp of jproval. I read a poem today called, what if jesus came to your house and decided to share it with you. I found it on a zblog doc sent. Would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in? Or hide some magazines, and put the Bible where they’d been? Would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out? Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about? And I wonder.. if the Saviour spent a day or two with you, Would you go right on doing, the things you always do? Would you go right on saying, the things you always say? Would life for you continue as it does from day to day? Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you go? Or would you maybe change your plans for ...

our beloved wp has tagged me for a meemish. if you haven't already, you have to read his alphabet meem . it's god damned funny. ps: another great read, inspired by our equally loved daleish , wp posted about his hair . have you read? run. read. hilar. A- Available or Single single by choice. available? not so much, but I will be soon! who's got wood? B- Best Friend my sister, izzy, katie, wellie pops C- Cake or Pie for a food addict, I can rationalize and celebrate both. each has a purpose, a time and a place. let's not take one and place its value above the other. that's cruel, insensitive and quite vile. D- Drink of Choice Coffee or lemonade mixed with iced tea. if I'm sick, hot tea. E- Essential Item my crack-n-berry. I really prefer not to be without it. F- Favorite Color red. ooh, I lah me some red, girl. G- Gummi Bears or Worms I'm a purist when it comes to candy, chocolate. I don't fuck around with gummi shit. I want it hard, fast and intens...

fartkisaf : friday's fears and reminder that katie is a freak.... but on saturdays. 1. I won't receive the two calls I'm expecting. 2. my neighbors can hear me sneeze in the mornings and hock me about closing my windows. hello, get a grip. ever heard of allergies? what about earplugs? are you new? this whole, must be silent to sleep , attitude really fuckin' pisses me off. if you're going to reside in a wannabe metropolis or real one, you have got to cope with sound. right? right! 3. endo boy next week. so not in the mood to get felt up and have blood drawn. 4. waiting on louie's blood work results. ok, we are mirroring each other a little too much. what does that say about me? yes, I know I'm a freak. I'm looking for something else. 5. my ocd about twist ties will continue.

fartkisaf: friday's fears and reminder that katie is a freak.... but on saturdays sunday this week because she's a forgetful bitch. 1. I know I'm just moving downstairs, but I have a lot to pack, organize and throw away. will I get it done in time? that's a rhetorical question. 2. a mixed bag of emotions. it's good, and peppered with that perfect dose of fear and neurosis we've all come to expect from sowlicious. 3. menses has begun as of 1PM today. all of my black pants are in the laundry or dry cleaners. I worry about leakage. it's a heavy flow this month. mind you, I'm grateful the egg's rollin'. that's it for now. I'm trying to exercise restraint. you think it's easy? oy.

between my schedule this past weekend and my focus on zealotinagate , I neglected to post friday's fears. I'm a whore. fartkisaf: friday's fears and reminder that katie is a freak.... but on saturdays mondays. 1. I can't move into the downstairs apartment soon enough. watching louie brave the stairs is killing me. 2. halitosis. I floss twice a day, but I'm thinking of ramping it up to three times because I'm super phobic of hally. 3. another pop diva will remake mccarthur park and it will be an overly played, pop-tart topping phenomenom. 4. no good news this week.

"the 10 things about meemish that I really don't want to tell you but will because I'm a freak." 1. moon river is my favorite song ever written. the memories of my grandmothers humming along while baking mandel bread and knitting... so inspiring and cozy. I include it in everything I write. 2. I would rather hang out with my dog than the majority of people I've met in my life. I absolutely love spending time with him. he's funnier, smarter and more interesting. I'm a freak. 3. I have inappropriate, severe and unrelenting white coat syndrome . my fear of doctors is so intense that I am convinced it has something to do with a previous life. 4. I never lock my car and I usually leave my keys in the car. to me it's not stupid. it makes sense. what pisses me off is when someone breaks into my car and leaves the door open. OK-- here I went to all this trouble to leave the car unlocked. the least you can do is be a mensch and close the door after you've h...

you know that 10 things freak out post?! well, wp asked me to do a 10 things you need to know about katie post. if I'm gonna do this, so are YOU... see the list?! you better do it. we'll call this meem: "the 10 things about meemish that I really don't want to tell you but will because I'm a freak ." wp : I know you hate me right now riback : if you sigh in irritated fashion, mister mister, you know the consequences. I'm pms'ng sensu : I can hear the, you cuntsteinowitz from hell, pouring out of your mouth. politits : you're a spirited jewgirl and will have MUCH to say on the topic! bubs : come on... you gotta do it. mount joy : the shock value alone will be worth it and you haven't posted in a hundred years. johnny yenta : do it! evil spockowitz : you have to do it in third person. lewchers : anything less than sarcasm will not be accepted skirmish of wit : witty and clever always rules out. self help : throw me a bone, wouldjya?! daleish : ...