if I were a man....

I love being a vagina. I think it rocks. but, if I happened to be a man, I would:

1: have my hand down my pants and play with my penis and balls all day.

2: stare at my cock all day long.

3: put my dick in everything.

4: show everyone my dick all the time.

5: watch men pee, so I could be the best stand up pee-er on the planet.

6: flash my dick.

7: run up to the top of hills and pee all the way down.

8: walk by a row of parked cars, take me dick out and pee on them.

9: I'd do cock tricks.

10: I'd make stupid dick jokes every fucking chance I got.

but, if I were that kind of man, I wouldn't be caught dead with myself because I'd hate myself. I'd so not be my type.