Sunday, October 14, 2007

Retard Revolution

Remember that post I wrote about the Special Olympics of Grocery Shopping? I figgered you didn't, so hit the link and catch up. I know, I'm Snatcherella today. Deal. Or flee.

This afternoon my sister and I hit our new grocery store because we banned the SOGS store. The manager was an assholic prick about the mentally challenged. After you tell a manager you see on a daily basis that they're stupid and offensive, better to stick to your guns and not give them your business, right? Right.

I am here to say that there is an explosive retard revolution happening in the retail grocery industry in shlock angeles that I was not aware of. It's about fuckin' time if you ask me. The lines are longer. Bagging is a cooperative endeavor and if you're paying by credit or check card, you're gonna have to swipe twice on a good day, three on a bad day. Doable, honey. Do-a-ble.

Walking into the store today was like going to a sports arena to watch The Norms vs. The Tards in their final game of the series. You can feel the animosity and competitiveness. It's so strange. The Norms are just outright mean and The Tards are fighting back, giving it to them right up their asses. It's surreal, uncomfortable and fantastic all at the same time.

I'm rooting for the short bussers. I hope the retard revolution leaves an indelible imprint in all industries. It's so long overdue. Are you with me?!

Non-sequiturish of the day: Can dogs be retarded? Seriously, can they?


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