Friday, October 27, 2006

a little play never hurt

my sister and I were strolling down the street with jewcifer yesterday and some strapping chubby stud from across the way was chatting me up about louie. he was so noshable. so, I said to my sister as we were en route to my house:

now that's an entree, sweetie. succulent and delish. I'd fuck him with your pussy.
to which she replied, ohhhkay. I'm uncomfortable. why can't you just use yours?
so, I waved my hand across my beav and said, hi. temporarily out of commission. menses?! you can't fuck new meat with a bleedinV.

we hit a boundary wall. affectionately nicknamed, girlriend time.
ah, such a proud moment for katie.

photo credit:: menstruating barbie


Amy Guth said...

Please save that sentence and use it to title one of your great literary works...?

You Can't Fuck New Meat With A Bleedin' V, a new book by Katie Schwartz


Nicky said...

think what a keeper he would have been if he did agree to such a thing though (see comments on Guth's blog on subject similar)!

Mountjoy said...

New from Mattel™! Menstrual Barbie™. Thats right girls! Just because you've grown pubic hair, it doesnt mean you are too old for dolls.
New Menstrual Barbie™ comes complete with a box of Barbons™, Barbie's own minature tampons, and 7 sachets of fake blood, so you can simulate a whole week of period madness. Mattel's™ voice chip technology even has a cycle of phrases for Menstrual Barbie™ to scream - "NO I DON'T GET PMT", "Thank fuck, I got my period - I'm not pregnant", "Do you have any spare Barbons™, Ken?" and "Thank christ that is over for another month".
But don't forget, leave Menstrual Barbie's™ Barbon™ in too long, and her voice chip will shut down, just like if she really got toxic shock... Menstrual Barbie™ - just in time for the Holidays, from Mattel™.


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