Friday, January 27, 2006

me and my crackberry

Well, it's true. Cat's out of the bag. I have my first non-food related addiction.

My crackberry.

When I first got it, I was too much of a wuss to use it. I was scurred. It seemed so overwhelming. But one day, I picked up the manual and started reading about it. I even took a 3D-creepy-geek-tour.

The minute I plugged that sweet berry into my USB drive to charge, we bonded. I couldn't stop spinning the wheel, clicking, spinning, clicking and spinning. Before I knew it, I was aggregating three email addresses, multi-tasking with tasks and calling everyone in the free world, including Cingular for support.

My vulva lips fell out when I was automatically redirected to crackberry support. I called six more times JUST TO MAKE SURE it really existed and wasn't a dream.

My crackberry is always there. She rarely lets me down, unless I have no emails for long periods of time. But I realized that I could just aggregate more email addresses to hit the spot.

I jones for it when it's in my bag or sitting beside me, unlit. I'll scroll the wheel just to see. Occasionally an email will have popped in without the signature buzz. I sigh, relieved.

I love my crackberry.

doc hates katie

My lil’ post about homeschooling caused such agida. You would think I told Christians to abort their babies, neo-Nazis to marry black-Jew Koreans and gay people to convert to heterosexual-ism. The research was accurate and the opinion was and remains my own. You can find facts and statistics from expert sources to support or denounce any cause.

What struck me was the intensity of hate and rage directed at me from Doc and Doc’s readers. Did I say, “live your life my way?” No. I disagreed and that got me, Idiot of the day on Doc’s Blog. For affect, she also called me a stupid moron and a coward, a waste of tax dollars. What does she do for an encore, skin me alive and burn me at the stake. She also made the assumption that I was a public school graduate. I attended public and private schools and I am a proponent of both. I mentioned that in my homeschool post. Doc also assailed Carrie. She made Idiot of the day, too, for her articulate and smart piece against homeschooling.

What I couldn’t let go of was the level of venomous hate directed at both of us. Two people wrote to me expressing their opinions and accepting that I had my own. I also received countless hate-mails. I didn’t shy away from this or any other confrontation. I’m not a pussy. I debated in college. Of course not according to Doc, “Public school may not have taught her how to debate, but it did teach her cowardice.” I was an activist. I’ve written essays and other things that incited harsh reactions. But in this case, I just didn’t agree. She wasn't looking for a spirited debate. She wanted to start a fight.

Why did it bother me so much?

So I started reading Doc’s Blog. I found this quote on today’s post: You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. --Doug Floyd

Well, isn’t that just the sweetest little cupcake celebrating differences. Kinda makes a girl cock her head to the side and go, huh?!

I kept reading.

Her Blog is filled with acrimonious resentment towards people who disagree with her. It’s also about family, homeschooling, loss, life, sickness and gayness.

But as I kept reading, I happened upon an entry that was one of the most exquisite things I’ve ever read, Uneasy Sad out of Sorts. Though it’s not poetry, it reminded me of Adrienne Rich’s work. A rawness that leaves an indelible mark.

I kept reading.

More hate. More rage against public school kids for lack of sophistication and poise, breathing, blah-blah-blah. And of course what Doc Blog entry would be complete without unwavering repulsion about a myriad of everythings.

I kept reading.

She's pro-choice. How positively shocking.

But I finally figured it out, what got to me so much. Obviously I don't like mean people and try to extricate them from my life as much as possible. This wasn't just that. Her fear and anger about circumstances in her personal life are projected onto anyone who crosses her. That’s not only mean, it’s pathetic. It lacks any sense of responsibility or accountability. Woman up, girl. Life is short. Why waste it hating so many people for thinking differently.

I'm sure Doc will berate me for this post. Hey, I might just make idiot of the year if I'm lucky.


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