Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the fuckin motherload

my christian space...

katie's got a confession to make

yes, it's true. I am confessing. judge me if you will.

first, a little back story... I am not a hypochondriac. I fear death. there is a difference, ya know. in my commitment to my fear I leave no fear stone unearthed.

my confession is this, I write epitaphs when I fear losing someone I love.

I have close to 40 epitaphs written. It's become an insidious compulsion, and I can't stop myself. I now think in epitaph terms. I took my sister to the airport this morning. upon dropping her off, I was in tears writing her epitaph. terrified. she was flying to dc. who wouldn't be up in arms. when my father had open heart surgery, I must've written at least 3. when my mother had kidney surgery. oh, I wrote about a dozen. shit, I take my dog to the vet, test results or not, I've got a month worth of epitaph writing material.

and so it goes. this obsession and fear of death.

 

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