Katie Schwartz

Is.... DRUG MONKEY !!! DM, you have won a dozen Bojamacakes courtesy of baking goddess Jintrinsique . CONGRATULATIONS, TOOTS! Thank you for your wonderful essay, If you Listen Closely as you Read This, You can Hear me Reaching Hard to Create Three, I May Have Turn a Rotar Cuff . I would also like to thank your fierce competitors, essayists Fredrick Schwartz of Hell's Leading Newspaper, the Dis-Brimstone and Mister Mister of one of the net's finest poli reads, Earth Observation . You rocked it, beautiful babies. Thank you, Drug Monkey and CONGRATULATIONS, ya big stud.

The country is going to hell in a bushbag. We're all too stressed out to breathe and too busy not to. In the midst of all of this turmoil, we gotta have a little fun... news?!?! Sure, the debates tomorrow will be a scream and probably draw more viewers than the Superbowl. I am VERY proud to announce t he winner of the September McCunt Essay Contest.... Drumroll, please.... FRANNYLICIOUS ! CONGRATULATIONS, BUBBIE!! MAZEL TOV!! YAHOO!! YOU HAVE WON A DOZEN BOJAMACAKES BY the DIVINE Ms. JINTRINSIQUE , Pastry Chef, arteest and kick ass dame. This was a damn close race, I mean realllllllllllllllly close. If this were the presidential election, we'd be shvitsing like dawgs, pulling our hair out and panicking. I wish I could send Bojamacakes to everyone who took the time to contribute their brilliant, hilarious prose. You are all winners and divine peeps I adore, and am grateful to know. A million thank you's to JDC , ZipGirl , TravelingManRick and Frannygirl . -- Mister Mister...