Katie Schwartz

alsense tagged me. I was sick. flu with a sinus infection back. really hot. everybody cum! al, forgive me. after hitting vocab's blog tonight, I was reminded of the tag. I am now fulfilling my tagbligations as you have so generously done for me on a million occasions. This tag has rules. pay attention 1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”. 2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. 3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog. :--0 1. I am not a hypochondriac. I fear death. there is a difference. so, I write eulogies. incessantly. shamelessly. about myself. the people I love. whenever I am more terrified than usual about the peel factor, I eulogize myself into a heated frenzy. 2. I get distracted way too easily when I masturbate. my mind goes...

when I was a kid, I asked my dad if fat men had penises. I asked because I couldn't see them. what I can't figure out is if peni recognition at such a young age means I was molested or intuitive. hmm. something new to ponder and hopefully obsess about.

love this man. he's fabulous. must be a real yoga enthusiast. the other day I found my neighbor standing in the hallway talking on the phone and peeing in a cup. I briskly walked by. he turned his back. like that's really going to help at that point?! after I walked by him, he said, sorry about that. I said, what do I care. you're not peeing in my cup. knock yourself out. pee in every corner of the building. I really don't care. I think I'm becoming desensitized or I've truly stopped caring. either way, my life is a mess.

I have a neighbor. he's a dick. very cliche and pretentious. drives a convertible. struts himself around the block around evening time, toting his pussy-should-be-at-the-end-of-a-mop, dog, smoking a cigar twice his size. he's a bit of a mini me. works out to glisten. he's all about steamed chicken, veggies and maintaining his mini lean man physique. I'm sure I'm the anti-christ to him. he probably thinks if he stares at me too long he'll catch fat. I should send him a letter telling him it's not contagious, but I prefer when he quickly looks away. yesterday morning we were both getting into our cars at the same time. I had jewcifer with me and in the creepiest fucking tone, he said, he's your buddy, isn't he? I thought, eww. that is so porn and so wrong. I said, no more than your dog is your buddy. he looked surprised. I raised an eyebrow and said, the way you said that was creepy. sorry. but, it was. as if. louie is my son. I know divorce lawyers. b...