Friday, October 06, 2006

1st annual blair warner pussy eating contest!

blair warner loves jesus with all her heart. he's her daddy. still, this raises a question for me, though they seem to spend an awful lot of time together, does jesus really have time for a face to pussy with blaire?

and, what about blair's husband? she loves him with all her heart too. but, he's a serious shim who SCREAMS gas station, glory hole queen.

poor blair really doesn't have many pussy noshables in her life, now does she? in fact, it wouldn't come as a shock to me to learn that she has yet to even experience the wonders of good ol' fashioned american clit suckin', finger fuckin' goodness.

being a humanitarian, I am putting my most selfless foot forward in the hopes that we can crown one lucky king, queen or quig, the official 2006 blair warner pussy eater.

eligibility for the 2006 blair warner pussy eating contest: must be prepared to travel extensively for maximum dining opportunities. he, she, shim must excel in the art of the nosh with a track record to prove it! professional training with degrees, certificates and letters of recommendation are mandatory.

Candidates interested are to write a 200 word essay using this intro sentence, I may not have the cachet jesus has, but I am the best pussy eater in the world because... essays should be emailed in the face of the email, to: all attachments will be deleted.

finalists will be flown to texas, blair's home state, for a poolside, afternoon nosh on blair's pussy at the best western inn. so, get your mangos and ho's out, and start practicing!

the winner of the 2006 blair warner pussy eating contest: wins a red, white and blue life size silicon replica of blair warner's pussy sitting atop an enviable silver crown. all expenses paid travel with blair. and, of course, blair's needy, giant, god fearing pussy.

I'm counting on you to make this a world class annual event!

go with god,



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