Tuesday, October 24, 2006

sunday coffee talk with lisa welchel

Our gal pal and christian soldier lw, who from this day forward will forever be named, Bcunt (bitch cunt), posted a doozy journal entry this week.

forget darfur. ignore the war in iraq. fuck the homeless. don't give a second thought to the global aids crisis. screw stem cell research. bush has and look how much fun he's having!

none of it matters.
why?

because Bcunt needs your prayers. she needs you on your knees and praying hard and fast on her behalf. and, she ain't fuckin' kidding.

Lisa Whelchel Weekly Journal
October 21, 2006
Choose You This Day

I’m just simply overwhelmed with work that needs to be done and not enough days to get it all done. Please pray specifically as I attempt to create this Bible Study Scrapbook project that I’m writing. It is so complicated, there are so many little pieces to pull together, and the deadline is looming. I also need to write all of the scripts that I will be filming for the DVD portion of the Bible Study that we will be filming November 7-10. Please pray for the filming, too.

sure, Bcunt is a creepy chick. but the fact that she is genuinely requesting that people toss prayers at her SCRAPBOOKING and FILMING success?! bitch has nerve she hasn't even used yet.

how do you like the gall.
the audacity.
the shame of it!

I'm not finished.

Steve has been out of town on business almost continuously and the young woman who helps with the kids while we are out of town (or when I need to write) was called to Michigan for a family emergency. To say the least, God is really stretching my faith, but I’m choosing to trust Him.

don't pray for Bcunt's (likely) illegal gal friday's family. BECAUSE GOD FORBID lisa miss her precious fucking republican cum sucking bible deadline.

I am so offended by this bitch, I can't even tell you.

I thought I’d share a handful of scanned pages from the rough draft of the Bible Study scrapbook, my story. childhood favorites. if I were a fruit, a room and a musical instrument. describe my (voracious bottom) husband in 15 words. my dearest family. inspirations along the way. churches. dear friends. I hope it gets you excited.

so who's wet? who's got wood? excited yet? well, don't worry. click on through and you will be. hot. hot. hot.

WARNING::: deeply disturbing and nauseating content. those with a weak stomach are encouraged to click through to Bcunt's bible scrapbooks with extreme caution, a bottle of gingerale, a pail and salted tops.

11 comments:

Mars said...

if its any consolation to you, her gal friday obviously went to meet her husband. ongoing trysts where she dominates him are the only thing keeping him from crying all the time.

J of NYC said...

Loved the graphic, though I'm probably in the minority.

Nicky said...

Ah, the scrapbook pages remind me of many happy days spent at the Hobby Lobby laughing over the scrapbooking section and wondering who the fuck USES this shit. Now I know. My favorite bit was where she said her favorite subject in school was Science; c'mon - you KNOW this gal is a creationist, for chrissake!

katie schwartz said...

so that's how he manages his homo erotic urges! mars, you're a genius!

katie schwartz said...

I hope not, J. I love it too :)

katie schwartz said...

oh girl, fuckin-a. she is so vehemently opposed to science and science fiction. she thinks it's the devil's work.

what does a scrapbooking section even look like?

I have read that there are scrapbooking conventions.

the shame...

Mountjoy said...

God has spoken to ME, Katie. He has told me to deliver unto you piss-takes of as many of Bcunt's pages as possible, for a future post. Stay tuned...

Nicky said...

At the Hobby Lobby in Santa Fe, NM, there were easily two full aisles of stickers, background papers, stamps, borders, letters, stencils, and the like, not to mention books, glues, special scissors and hole punchers that cut in patterns, etc, that were all designated as being for "scrapbooking." Often the stickers or stamps would say things like "Vacation!" or "Girlfriends" or "Champs!" or "Holy Matrimony," with graphics to the same effect. These could all be perused while listening to the subtle Muzak versions of "Simple Gifts" or "We Gather Together." Additionally, Hobby Lobby was also closed all day Sunday to "allow employees time for family and worship." Huh. I used to go in and enjoy myself in the same way one enjoys oneself at, say, a wax museum.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Why don't we all just put down what we're doing and not just pray for Lisa, but go help her to. On the grand scale of things, she's turned the Holy Trinity into the Holy Quartet.

Writeprocrastinator said...

I thought I saw her husband the other day when I dropped the car off at the Honda dealership to get serviced. He said something about "depending on the kindness of strangers" or some such.

fingers said...

Poor Lisa...she hasn't worked it out yet.
God is far too busy to answer the irrelevant prayers of her and the rest of the God Squad.
All those church-going cunts that think it's OK to squander prayers on their trivial requirements, added to all the hopeless gamblers looking for a ten-card on their double-down etc...it's simply too much work, even for God.
So, God just says 'FUCK EVERYBODY'...

 

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