Sunday, October 22, 2006

I clean

I think I'm breaking up with an old friend.
really old.
I'm heartbroken about it.
so, I clean.
I listen to my favorite song, the goodbye girl.
and, I clean.
I can feel my brain defragmenting.
not finding resolution.
just clearing.
I hope I'm wrong.
but, I don't think so.
my great aunt fudgie always says, "kateala, it's only too late when you're six feet under."
I believe that.
everything is forgivable to a degree.
some things take an act of super strength.
If we break up, I will always feel an aching sense of loss.
the friend pool shrinks as you get older.
how many great friends does a person really get in one lifetime?
this sucks.
I wish things were different.
I wish that with every cleansing wipe, I could erase what happened.
that it was an apparition.
that it didn't really happen.
but I can't.
so, fuck me.

7 comments:

fingers said...

That's so sad, Katie.
If it helps at all, you can come round and clean my place while the healing process continues.
There's plenty to do.
It's fucking filthy dusty coz the cunt of a painter is too much of an artiste to vacuum at the end of each day apparently...

katie schwartz said...

fingers, I'm howling. you crack me up. you're so funny. I can't decide if you're a misogynist, a pig or both? either way, I'm loving you so hard it's really not funny.

adding you to my blog... hope that's ok.

fingers said...

Add away, Katie.
Glad my misery makes you laugh.
I'm not kidding about the fucking painter though.
Cunt thinks he's an Irish Michelangelo or something; it's taken him 4 days just to paint The Sistine Kitchen for me...

Ms Smack said...

Fingers? Are you cheating on me? I think you might be by whoring your ass with the sexiest JewQueen on the web!!

Lucky Katie and I have a pre-blog agreement to share our men or you'd be in trouble, mister.

now get back in the sistine kitchen and make me some pie.

Katie, what happened with your friend?

fingers said...

I'm just using her to get at you, Smack...

katie schwartz said...

"cunt thinks he's an irish michelangelo" that is hilar!

katie schwartz said...

miss smack, don't know yet. she hasn't gotten back to me. thanks for asking. I fear I might be on the chopping block. we'll see. ugh. the whole thing sucks.

 

design by suckmylolly.com