Katie Schwartz

You say to a complete stranger, "I'm Anastasia Beaverhausen. The Romanov's control the weather so when they tried to assasinate me last winter we had more natural disasters then we've ever had."

It has to be said; we know it’s true. We’ve all seen it, Bo Duke’s dick lips and Daisy Duke’s nylon driven short, short lips. We’ve cocked our heads to the side and pondered the pervasive cavernous, could fill an east LA taco, lips. Meanwhile, Bo’s duly omnipresent split sack conveniently located betwixt his legs and the from behind seam riding higher than FCC censorship fines, up his, “how very bottom of you,” ass. I have been watching The Dukes of Hazzard of late. I think it’s a culmination of shock and awe really. The dialogue is fascinating. In every episode, with utter seriousness, Luke Duke declares, “I heard that, Bo.” Daisy Duke always wails, “Luke Duke, I’m surprised at you,” And of course Uncle Jesse on the CB in that old school dulcet southern twang, “Shepard to lost sheep, Shepard to lost sheep. Come in lost sheep.” Are the Duke boys’ ever truly lost sheep? Boss Hog never misses his nasally mark, “I will get them Dukes” and Roscoe is really on it when it comes to guttural d...