Katie Schwartz

people don't fart in public? I think farting is great. let er' rip, I say. why not!

ok. yes, the song, you're beautiful, is a lovely song, it's fabulous. but his video for this song must be mocked and with relentless shame. why hasn't anyone mocked this video. it is the epitome of shame. you're beautiful

I gotta tell ya, these points are the shit. this is like lifestyle dieting. and for a food obsessed foodie like me, hot damn this is good. still, I miss a good binge, ya know. I can eat anyone under the table. stop with the jealousy!

I was going to rent this apartment down the street from where I am now, but persheena was insistent on giving me a douche, you know middle eastern style. when I told her that I thought that was disgusting, she said, "oh, but it's not. you come over, take your underwears (like I wear more then one pair at a time) off, and I douche you. I said, that's a boundary. shock of shocks, I have them.

I love sitting naked and resting the twins on the kitchen table. talk about bliss on a board!