Katie Schwartz

what part of shitty market research did thomas KUNTcade miss when he sent me his little collectible christmas light spam?! hi. jew. big fuckin jew. jewgirl jew. the jewiest of jews. with big fuckin tits. world wide web sized hips and jewergies to prove my super jeweyness. thomas KUNTcade... SUCK MY (today wannabe male) DICK!

my cunt is menstruating like it might never have another opportunity to bleed again. I need dick. can't have the dick I want. fuck men. fuck everyone. missed a call I really fucking wanted and needed to take, but my bitch ass crackwhoreberry didn't fucking ring. mother fucking cock sucking fuckity fuck fuck if I were a man today, I would tell everyone in the free world to suck my dick. just shut the fuck up and suck my dick. stop your yappin and suck my dick. before you jump off that bridge, and you really should jump off that fuckin bridge, suck my fuckin dick! I should've been born a man. but, I loooooooove being a chick. I do. I do. I do. I absolutely love being a beav. I love women. I think we are amazing. but today... today, I want a dick. just today.

I got my menses yesterday. my gash is on fire. I have womb hostage worthy cramps. I am retaining so much fucking water it's not even funny. I feel like a big fat sow. I can see my cheeks because my face is so fucking swollen. I'm bleeding like a stuck pig and drainage in los angeles sucks ass, so I should probably send out a flash flood warning. if I don't and somebody drowns, am I liable?

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I think I'm breaking up with an old friend. really old. I'm heartbroken about it. so, I clean. I listen to my favorite song, the goodbye girl. and, I clean. I can feel my brain defragmenting. not finding resolution. just clearing. I hope I'm wrong. but, I don't think so. my great aunt fudgie always says, "kateala, it's only too late when you're six feet under." I believe that. everything is forgivable to a degree. some things take an act of super strength. If we break up, I will always feel an aching sense of loss. the friend pool shrinks as you get older. how many great friends does a person really get in one lifetime? this sucks. I wish things were different. I wish that with every cleansing wipe, I could erase what happened. that it was an apparition. that it didn't really happen. but I can't. so, fuck me.