Tuesday, May 09, 2006

classic procrastination

yes, write procrastinator makes a good point with his title! I am avoiding the day job crap that needs to get done tonight, content revisions. so NOT in the mood.

I love making up words

jewergies = allergies ... which we all know are super jewey.

addiction

if I had my druthers, I would've opted out of a food addiction and into a cocaine or oxycontin addiction. they're both fat free highs that don't make you hungry. oh, well, at least I have something to aspire to in my next life.

a girl's gotta see the positives!

twitney and hairline spawn again

it's bad enough she almost whacked the first kid. is he damaged goods in her eyes? is the second kid a shot at a clean slate? will the first kid be sold on ebay like chachkeys? will he be autographed? i guess if he comes complete with a rendition of, "mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. let em' be doctors and lawyers and such;" the new owners will be cued in that he's the real deal.

oh, I don't know. it's all so nauseatingly creepy.

moving the story along... I think people should pee on floors for no particular reason.

I think I have a cavity. fuck. fuck. mother fuck.

I need to do laundry. it's out of control. I'm actually ashamed.

my neighbors moved out, but I keep hearing their bathroom sink being turned on and off. I wonder if a ghost or a hobo (nice, huh?) has taken up residence.

I love gingerale. I prefer canada dry. but I'll drink schweppes.

the nazi canibal

FRANKFURT, Germany (May 9) - A man who admitted killing and eating an acquaintance he met on the Internet was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison Tuesday following his retrial in a case that engrossed and appalled Germany.

clearly he missed lampshade design 101. did he bake her in the oven? cause that's like in the womb, education.

more on.. give david blaine a nipple

Diving coach Kirk Krack helps pull David Blaine out of the sphere where he lived underwater for one week. To promote the stunt, Blaine cut off his left ear at a press conference.

if mrs. krack named her son kirk krack, does she have another son named, dick krack and a daughter named, buttah krack?

who would name their child, kirk krack? he couldn't change his name? what, being the brunt of every playground joke made him stronger?! oh, please, build a bridge and get right over that, kirk krack.

Blaine's previous feats included balancing on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, all of which were performed in New York. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

this man has issues. he's a masochist not a magician. who segues from card tricks to being buried alive?

 

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