Katie Schwartz

yes, write procrastinator makes a good point with his title! I am avoiding the day job crap that needs to get done tonight, content revisions. so NOT in the mood.

jewergies = allergies ... which we all know are super jewey.

if I had my druthers, I would've opted out of a food addiction and into a cocaine or oxycontin addiction. they're both fat free highs that don't make you hungry. oh, well, at least I have something to aspire to in my next life. a girl's gotta see the positives!

it's bad enough she almost whacked the first kid. is he damaged goods in her eyes? is the second kid a shot at a clean slate? will the first kid be sold on ebay like chachkeys? will he be autographed? i guess if he comes complete with a rendition of, "mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. let em' be doctors and lawyers and such;" the new owners will be cued in that he's the real deal. oh, I don't know. it's all so nauseatingly creepy. moving the story along... I think people should pee on floors for no particular reason. I think I have a cavity. fuck. fuck. mother fuck. I need to do laundry. it's out of control. I'm actually ashamed. my neighbors moved out, but I keep hearing their bathroom sink being turned on and off. I wonder if a ghost or a hobo (nice, huh?) has taken up residence. I love gingerale. I prefer canada dry. but I'll drink schweppes.

FRANKFURT, Germany (May 9) - A man who admitted killing and eating an acquaintance he met on the Internet was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison Tuesday following his retrial in a case that engrossed and appalled Germany. clearly he missed lampshade design 101. did he bake her in the oven? cause that's like in the womb, education .

Diving coach Kirk Krack helps pull David Blaine out of the sphere where he lived underwater for one week. To promote the stunt, Blaine cut off his left ear at a press conference. if mrs. krack named her son kirk krack, does she have another son named, dick krack and a daughter named, buttah krack? who would name their child, kirk krack? he couldn't change his name? what, being the brunt of every playground joke made him stronger?! oh, please, build a bridge and get right over that, kirk krack. Blaine's previous feats included balancing on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, all of which were performed in New York. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London. this man has issues. he's a masochist not a magician. who segues from card tricks to being buried alive?